We Will Miss You
by GCS
Sometimes life slaps you in the face with a sudden loss. Roy finds out first hand how hard it is to say goodbye.
DISCLAIMER: "Emergency!" and its characters © Mark VII Productions, Inc. and Universal Studios. All rights reserved. No infringement of any copyrights or trademarks is intended or should be inferred. This is a work of fiction, and any similarity to actual persons or events is purely coincidental. This story is only written for entertainment. No financial gain is being realized from it. The story, itself, is the property of the author.
The crew from LA county Fire Station 51 stumbled from their vehicles into the dayroom. The screeching of chairs could be heard echoing through the room as 4 weary firemen sat at the table. Mike Stoker went to the stove to put on a fresh pot of coffee. The final member of their crew came limping in last after making a detour to the locker room to look at his latest black eye.
"Man Gage can you get through one shift without an injury?" Chet chuckled as he prodded his pigeon John Gage. He picked on Johnny mercilessly either through his verbal jabbing or his many pranks and traps set for him.
"Shut up Chet. Why don't you go play on the freeway?" Johnny gave his usual mock reply. "It's not my fault that I had to rescue that guy, or that the ceiling decided to fall over my head."
"Sure Gage, but what next man? You have experienced every kind of injury I can think of."
"Chester B. I'll have you know that I am not the only fireman/paramedic that ever gets injured. Why Roy here has even had a few injuries himself." Johnny waved his left arm in the direction of his partner. "If I remember correctly Chet my boy, you yourself have had a few injuries this past year too."
"Yeah Johnny I was injured, because I was standing next to you, the disaster magnet."
"Shut up Chet," the 5 members of Chet's shift said in unison. By now the coffee was ready and Mike was pouring cups for everyone.
"Don't worry about it Johnny," Roy tried his best to appease his friend. "Don't let Chet get to you. Cap knows you do a good job. We all know you do a good job. You are one of the best paramedics in this county."
"Thanks Roy at least someone appreciates my skills." Johnny grabbed his cup of coffee and headed out back of the station for some peace and quiet. He found his favorite spot on the hood of his Rover and reclined against the windshield while sipping his coffee.
Roy was worried about his friend. Johnny had refused to go to Rampart to be checked out by the doctors saying it was just a black eye and sore knee. He would ice and elevate the knee and well a black eye is just that, a black eye. Since Captain Stanley had not made it an order to have Johnny checked out Roy had let the issue drop. Now seeing the way Johnny stiffly walked out of the day room and out to his car Roy wondered if he should have pressed the issue. Johnny could have serious unseen injuries. He had taken quite a blow when the ceiling collapsed. Making a mental note to himself to keep an eye on Johnny, Roy decided to let him rest outside for now. He turned and went to watch the news with Marco and Mike. Chet sat on the sofa reading the paper. Captain Stanley went to his office to fill out the reports on the fire call they had just completed.
The rest of the shift was busy with several minor calls for the squad, and an apartment fire for the whole station around 10 pm that kept them out until well after 4 am. Exhausted and dirty the men once again stumbled from their vehicles only this time they went towards the locker room to clean up. Having only one shower the men took turns showering. Roy noticed that Johnny was favoring his leg even more and now seemed to be holding his middle like he might have some pain in his stomach.
"Johnny are you all right? Roy spoke softly in Johnny's ear so that no one else could hear.
"Huh? Yeah Roy I'm all right. Just ate too much of Chet's Irish stew. Upset my stomach some especially after we fought that fire for hours on end. A couple of antacid tablets and I'll be good as new."
"Johnny are you sure that you don't need to get checked out by one of the doctors at Rampart? I promise it will not be Morton."
"No mother, I do not need to go to Rampart. I just have a black eye and a little bit of heart burn."
"And the knee Johnny?"
"And the knee Roy, but that is nothing major. I'll relax around my place on my days off. No running. No hiking. No climbing, just plain old relaxing. Okay? Stop mothering me."
"Well if you start having any problems…."
"I will call you Roy. I will. Promise."
"Boys Chief said the station is stood down for the next couple of hours for clean up. By then the B shift will be here, so if anyone wants to head home and shower there you have my blessing," Captain Stanley was relieved to let his men head home early after such a big run.
"Thanks Cap," the men echoed as they gathered their gear from their lockers to head home.
"I'll grab a shower here if you don't mind Cap. My hot water is on the fritz again."
"Okay John. Just don't leave a mess for B shift," Hank knew that John's land lady depended on him to help with repairs around the apartment complex he lived in and that he probably had not had time to work on the plumbing before shift. John certainly did not need to work on it today. He needed rest. "Uh John if you need any help with the plumbing problem later give me a shout."
"Thanks Cap, but I think my land lady may have to call a plumber this time. I can't seem to keep the hot water working." Johnny shook his head and scrunched his brow thinking about the problem. "Any way I'm just too tired to try right now, and my knee won't hold up to all that squatting." Johnny hadn't meant to let on how bad he felt, but now it was too late to take back. Captain Stanley and his partner had heard him say out loud that he might have more of an injury than he had admitted before. "Uh… nothing that some ice and rest won't cure though." He tried to cover up his slip.
"John if the knee is bothering you that much you could have it checked…."
"No Cap. I just do not want to put too much stress on it crawling around working on the plumbing. I am going to take it very easy and rest up."
Captain Stanley walked away chuckling at Johnny. "Well see that you do."
"Yes Sir! See ya in a couple of days Roy. Tell Joanne and the kids hello for me."
"Johnny?"
"I'm okay Roy, really."
"Well call me if…"
"Okay Roy."
"Yeah," Roy said as he grabbed his duffle bag and headed to his car.
Two days later the A shift of Station 51 were back together again. Well everyone was there except John Gage. He was late again. There was a sudden squealing sound and an abrupt slamming of a car door and the members of his shift waited for their final member to make his presence known. Looking out into the apparatus bay, Roy saw Johnny still limping into the locker room. Getting up from the table and grabbing an extra cup of hot coffee he went to see how his partner was doing. He sat the coffee on the bench beside Johnny who had his head resting in his hands, elbows on his knees. "Johnny?"
"Huh, Oh Roy Hi."
"You okay?"
"Sure, sure, I just have a headache. I just took two aspirin. It should be better soon."
"How's the knee?"
"Still a little sore, but getting better."
"Maybe we should have it x-rayed when we are over at the hospital."
"It's not that bad Roy. I've had worse."
Just then Mike Stoker stuck his head in the door and announced roll call in 5 minutes.
"Come on Johnny get it together. You can't afford to be late to roll call again," Roy said rising from the bench and grabbing the now empty cups. I'll see you outside."
Their shift turned out to be very hectic. One call after another but nothing major; the squad had just backed into the bay when the tones went off again calling the whole station out to a warehouse fire. The squad led the way out of the station and into the dark night. The men would not get much rest tonight. The fire was well out of control when Station 51 arrived on the scene. They were part of the second alarm, so Captain Stanley did not have to run the call. There were no reported victims inside the warehouse so Johnny and Roy too along side of Marco and Chet. Captain Stanley backed up both teams and they entered the burning structure. Mike expertly supervised the engine panel. Together the members of Battalion 14 brought the beast under control. "Battalion 14 to HT 51," Chief McConnikee called into the radio.
"HT 51," Captain Stanley replied.
"Assist Station 16 with clean up on the west side of the building," McConnikee directed.
"10-4. 51 out."
The tired men made their way over to their directed task. "Man I hate clean up," Johnny said as he squeezed the bridge of his nose in the way that Roy knew he usually did when he had a very bad headache.
"Johnny are you okay?" Roy studied his friend.
"Yeah I just have a killer headache. I'll grab some aspirin when we get back to the station."
"Johnny you have had that headache all day. Do you think you might need to run over and let Doc Brackett take a look at you? I mean think of it we could get out of this clean up too."
"No Roy. I hate clean up as much as the next guy, but I hate going to Rampart worse. I'll take clean up thank you very much."
"Roy are you two coming to help us?" Captain Stanley looked his two paramedics over wondering if something was wrong. "Did you get hurt back there Johnny?"
"Me? Cap why do you think I am the one who might have gotten hurt?" Johnny splayed his hand across his chest as if to stress his innocence.
"No Cap we did not get hurt. Neither of us, but Johnny here has had a very bad headache since first thing this morning. I can not help but wonder if he might have been hit harder on his hard head after that debris fell on him last shift. I was simply recommending that he get checked out at Rampart to which at no surprise he declined." Roy shook his head and grinned at his partner.
"Aw come on Roy it's just a headache."
"John I think Roy may be correct in his diagnosis if you have had this headache since the beginning of this shift. Do I need to make it an order for you to go to Rampart or are you sure you are alright?" Captain Stanley crossed his arms and tapped his foot waiting for his paramedic to respond.
"I guess we do need some supplies for the squad Cap. Maybe I could ask Doc Brackett for something stronger than aspirin for my head." Johnny gave in without too much of a struggle which told both his Captain and Roy that the headache was worse than either had originally thought. Johnny Gage never went willingly in for a checkup. For him to admit something stronger than over the counter headache medicine might be needed was a red flag to the two men. Before they could get back towards the squad one of the guys from Station 16 yelled at the two men to duck. The next thing Johnny knew he was hit in the cheek just below his already blackened eye by a piece of falling timber. "Aw man, how many times is my eye going to get black this week?"
"Let me see it Johnny." Roy said as he reached in his pocket for his penlight.
"No Way Roy! We are already headed to Rampart. They can shine their bright little annoying lights into my eyes there." Johnny stomped off towards the squad. Slipping out of his turnout coat and stowing it in the appropriate compartment on the squad he then threw his helmet into the open squad window. "Let's go mother."
On the way to the hospital Johnny fell asleep with his head leaning against the passenger side window. When they got to Rampart Roy reached across and gently shook his friend. "Hey Junior we're at Rampart. Let's go inside and let Brackett check you out."
"Huh? Oh. Okay Roy." Johnny said as he scrubbed his eyes with the back of his hand. "Ouch. Man that cheek sure is tender."
Nurse Dixie McCall looked up from her charts to see Roy and a very ragged looking John Gage sauntering down the ER hallway. "Hello boys."
"Hey Dix," Roy greeted his friend. "Um is Brackett busy?"
"Believe it or not he is off tonight. Why?" She asked looking over at Johnny. "Dr. Morton is in the lounge. Can he help?"
"No, Dixie, Morton can not help," Johnny stated directly to his partner. "Is Doctor Early on tonight?"
"Sure Johnny why don't you come on in exam room 4? I'll try to round Joe up," Dixie said as she smiled at the younger man. "What did you do this time?"
"Nothing Dix I just have a killer headache and Roy here thinks I need a complete physical."
"Johnny has had this 'killer' headache for the past 14 or so hours and admitted that it was worse now than before. Captain Stanley wants him checked out. He had a ceiling collapse on him last shift and refused to come in."
"Wow thanks Partner. Why don't you tell her about my knee too?" Johnny had said more than he had intended to again. Now Dixie knew about the possible knee injury as well. Why couldn't he keep his big mouth shut?
"Don't worry about it Johnny I saw you limping on the way in. I would have mentioned that to Joe even if you hadn't told me yourself about the knee." She pointed her finger at the exam table. "Now up there tiger; do you want me to cut off your pants or will you drop them yourself?"
"I can take care of the uniform Dixie. You have cut up enough of them already," he looked at her a bit uncomfortably. "Do you mind? I can handle the clothes and the gown if you will just give me a little privacy."
"Sure Johnny, but it's not like I haven't seen it all before," she teased her friend.
"Yeah well I was unconscious then. I am fully awake and in control right now." He absently pinched the bridge of his nose again.
"Come on Roy I think we need some coffee. Johnny I'll send Joe in to check things out in a few minutes."
"Thanks Dixie."
Roy patted Johnny on the shoulder before exiting the exam room. "Take it easy Junior."
"Yeah."
Joe Early did a quick exam of Johnny's knee and head, "Well Johnny I think your headache is from the bruising around your eye. You may have a slight concussion, but nothing major. I can give you some prescription strength Tylenol for that. The knee is strained, but as I am sure you already know rest, ice and elevation are the best things you can do for it. Did you hurt your ribs or anything when the roof fell on you?"
"Nope."
"Well when are you back on shift after tonight?" Doctor Early asked.
"We have a three day weekend. Roy's family has invited me to go to see his mother with them. We are planning to camp out at least one night and do some fishing."
"Well that sounds alright. Just don't do too much hiking or climbing on that knee."
"Sure Doc. Thanks." Johnny jumped down from the exam table forgetting about his sore knee. "Ouch."
"Johnny don't forget to take it easy on the knee," Doc Early reprimanded his friend.
The two paramedics headed back to the squad after picking up the prescription strength Tylenol at the hospital pharmacy. "Thanks Roy for caring." Johnny put his arm across Roy's shoulders as they walked out to the squad.
"No problem Johnny that is what partners do," Roy said as he smiled back at his best friend.
Arriving back at the station just in time for shift change the two friends agreed to talk about their weekend trip later in the day and both went to their homes for a very long hot shower and nap. Well Roy went straight home, but Johnny stopped in the station's locker room and slipped into the shower there. He still had not been able to fix the hot water problem at his apartment building.
Roy awoke some time around 2 o'clock very stiff and still tired. He knew that Johnny probably felt much worse than he did. Reaching for the phone he dialed the number by heart.
"Hullo," a very raspy voiced Johnny Gage answered his ringing telephone.
"Wow Junior you sound rough."
"What Mother? I just woke up okay. Hang on let me get something to drink."
The two friends discussed their weekend travel plans in detail before hanging up and agreeing to be on the road by early morning. Johnny would meet the Desoto family at their home around 5:30am. That was the last time the friends had talked before Roy got another phone call with the terrible news. 'How could this have happened? We just spoke on the phone. We had plans to be together this weekend.' His thoughts rambled as the shock of the call sunk in. After that things happened very quickly. Funeral plans had to be made. Family and friends needed contacting. Roy wondered how he would ever get through this tragedy. Then before he knew it the time had come for the wake.
The room was packed with people. Many were relatives. Most were friends. Walking slowly through the crowd making his way to the front greeting people along the way Roy saw Joanne and the kids, Chris and Jennifer already at the front of the room exchanging hugs with a group of people they hadn't seen in a few years. Roy looked to the front of the room his gaze settling on his best friend. Sadness filled his heart. How could he ever get past this unbearable grief? How would he be able to move on from here?
Looking closely at Johnny he noticed that he was clothed in his best suit. The bruise beneath his left eye from falling debris at their last rescue was still evident on his paler than normal face. There was something very peaceful about the way he looked. Roy approached his friend, moving closer towards the plethora of flowers that lined the casket. Suddenly Roy felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned to come face to face with Captain Stanley.
"Roy I want to let you know that you can take all the time you need to handle things. We are all so very saddened at this loss. Please accept my condolences. Remember that we are all here for you if you need us."
"Thanks Cap. I'm not really sure how long it will all take. There really seems to be a lot to do to get everything out of the apartment. Things will need to be sold or stored. I guess maybe I can let you know how much time I will need after the service tomorrow. Thanks for understanding."
"No problem Roy. Just call if I can help in any way," Captain Stanley gave Roy's shoulder one final squeeze before going over to speak to Joanne.
Roy turned once again to make the painstaking trip to stand beside the casket. The guests seemed to part the way for him as he approached. Roy's face revealed the sorrow he felt in his heart. He stopped a couple of feet away from the casket. Not sure if he was ready to say goodbye when he felt a presence just behind his left shoulder.
"It's okay Roy. You are not alone. I'm right here with you Pally."
"Thanks. It's just so hard to say goodbye, too soon. We had so much more to do, so much more to share."
"I know, but sometimes we don't get to choose. I know how hard it is to say goodbye before you are ready. I've been there."
"Yeah, but it just seems so unfair," Roy wiped his teary eyes with the back of his hand. "My kids are so young to have to face the death of someone that means so much to them. They don't understand. Hell I don't understand myself."
"Come on Roy. You need to somehow find a way to say goodbye so you can find closure. Trying to figure out the how and whys will get you nothing. Facing this tragedy head on will help you get back into living a lot quicker."
"I know, but that is not an easy thing to do. We just spoke on the phone day before yesterday about our plans for that weekend, and now here we are at the wake and tomorrow is the funeral. How could this all have happened so fast?" Roy stood there looking at his feet, hands in his pockets, shaking his head bewildered.
"Come on Roy. Let's take these final few steps."
"Okay," Roy said as he shuffled up to the casket. Looking into the face of this special person he was amazed at how peaceful they seemed. "The funeral home really did a good job. I'll have to thank them again for all of their help."
"They know Roy. It's okay."
"Listen I could not have gotten through these past two days without your help. I really owe you a lot for being there."
"Glad to do it. You would have done the same thing."
"Yeah," Roy answered with a slight smile. Roy stood there in quiet reverence thinking how lucky he had been to have shared a life with this very special person. Looking over his left shoulder he again smiled at his rock. The one person that understood better than any other the feelings he was having right at that moment; the one person that would stand beside him through thick and thin. "Hey Junior, thanks."
"No problem Roy. That's what partners are for." John Gage put his arm around his best friend's shoulders resting his hand on the right shoulder and giving it a squeeze.
"And best friends," Roy smiled at Johnny. "I'm really going to miss my mom."
"I know Pally. I know."
08/13/09
