The Let Down
Chapter Sixteen
by GCS
"As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will." -unknown
Chapter Sixteen
by GCS
"As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will." -unknown
“Well if it isn’t the new engineer.” Chet commented snidely
as he rose from his seat at the table and crossed to the couch.
Roy stopped in his tracks; looking at the lineman’s back with wonder at what was bothering his friend. After a momentary hesitation he turned toward the coffee pot. “Morning.” He spoke to the men from the other shift that were getting up from the table to leave. He grabbed a cup from the drain tray, but noticed the coffee was not quite ready. He sat the cup on the counter, turned and leaned against it. “What are you guys waiting for?” He asked the two paramedics still seated.
“Your Captain asked us to hang around.”
Roy’s mouth opened and his hands dropped to his sides. “Why? Johnny and I are both here. What’s going on?” Worry raced through his mind. He didn’t get much of an answer; only shoulder shrugs. Was Cap sending Johnny home? Maybe he was in trouble for coming in looking so rough, but why both of them? He lowered his chin to his chest when realization sunk in. Cap had heard them arguing. Maybe he was in trouble too. Jo would kill him if he got suspended. A suspension could eliminate him from the promotion to engineer. He turned to the coffee pot. The thought of missing out on the promotion didn’t really upset him that much making him wonder. “Coffee’s ready.” He poured some in his cup and turned back to the table trying to mask the emotions racing inside. He held up the pot, but got head nods from everyone. He slid the pot back into place and grabbed his cup returning to the bay.
“Are we good, Cap?” Johnny asked as he scooted to the end of the chair like a kid ready to bolt.
“Well, are you sure you’re okay?” Cap raised his eyebrows and tilted his head to the side. Johnny had said he was okay, but he had a tendency to do that when he really wasn’t.
“Yeah I’m good.”
“Tell Desoto I want to see him.”
Johnny hesitated before rising. “Cap, don’t be too hard on Roy, okay? It’s only a few more shifts. I can get by. I’ll just keep to myself.”
Hank smiled at the concern Johnny still had for Roy. Maybe this friendship could withstand the upcoming change after all. “Just send him in, John. The outcome of this meeting will be up to him.”
“Yes sir.” Johnny said softly as he turned to leave. “Thanks Cap.”
Hank reached for his coffee and took an experimental sip which caused a grimace. It was cold. He put the cup down and pushed his tongue across the roof of his mouth trying to get the taste to go away. He’d already sent for Roy which meant he didn’t have time to get a fresh cup. “To hell with it.” He whispered to himself. As he got up from the chair.
Johnny almost tripped over Roy as he rounded the Squad to do the morning equipment check. “Oh…um…Cap wants to see ya.” He spouted out while regaining his balance.
Roy closed the drug box, stood slowly and put it back in the compartment. He grabbed his cup from the top and walked around the front of the truck. “It’s all done except the bio-phone.” His ire had risen as he counted the medications. Johnny’s little tirade in the locker room had probably gained them both some trouble. Trouble that he didn’t deserve or want. Why couldn’t Johnny just let him leave on a good note? Why did everything have to be about John Gage?
Johnny turned and watched Roy leave looking like he’d just been slapped. He reached for the bio-phone and jerked it from the shelf practically slamming it down on the concrete floor, flipped the lid and haphazardly attached the antennae. His hand was shaking so bad it took three tries to snap it into place. He looked up in the direction of the office as he grabbed the receiver and twisted the control to activate the line. He sat back on his heels before depressing the talk button; his eyes still looking in the direction his best friend had gone. This was getting ridiculous. They were best friends. Why were they constantly berating each other? His eyes turned back to the abused piece of equipment. He’d just promised Cap that he could work with Roy. Now he needed to try to do just that. He raised the piece to his ear and depressed the button. “Rampart this is Squad 51, how do you read me?” He asked softly.
Dixie was sitting on the stool at the nurse’s station when she heard the familiar crackle of the radio. She slid from her perch as she heard Johnny calling in. She looked at the radio when he asked a second time for confirmation. The sadness in that transmission was apparent. She lifted the receiver and answered, “Squad 51, this is Rampart.”
“Please stand by for radio test.”
There was none of the normal morning greeting, just a standard transmission that would please the radio Gods. Dixie frowned. “Standing by.” She flipped the switch on the machine to her right and watched as the paper began to feed. “Looks good, 51. Have a safe shift.” She offered a bone hoping to get some kind of cheer from the voice on the other end.
“10-4, 51 out.”
Dixie almost slammed the receiver into its cradle wondering what was going on with Johnny. She knew he and Roy had been having difficulty with Roy’s promotion; they all had. Losing one of the best paramedics in the program to a promotion because the Fire Department couldn’t see the advantage to keeping them certified was a hard blow to those who were there at the beginning. They had fought so hard to get the program going only to lose good men to the pursuit of advancement, first Stoney; now Roy. It made her angry and sad at the same time. That must be part of what was wrong with her boys. Whatever it was, when they came into the ER later she planned to do what she could to help them work things out. Those two were too important to her to sit by and watch them self destruct. She turned back to her stool and the chart she’d been working on. Right now, duty called.
“Have a seat. I’ll be right back.” Captain Stanley pointed to the chair as he moved past Roy to get a hot cup of coffee. He felt much better after talking to Johnny. Now all he had to do was have a little discussion with Roy about his attitude the past few shifts, and they could get down to the business of running a fire station.
Roy moved aside to let him pass and slumped into the chair silently thanking his partner for the dressing down he thought he was about to get. Why else would Cap ask the other paramedics to stay?
Johnny must have talked his way out of a reprimand, since he had come over to do the equipment check; that meant the brunt of trouble had landed on Roy’s shoulders. Well he could take it. He took it in the military. He could take it now. A grunt came from deep within. He took the last sup of coffee as he leaned back in the chair with a huff and set his mind to doing just that.
Hank hurried into the kitchen and over to the coffee pot like a man on a mission. He saw the two paramedics waiting at the table. If his coffee had gotten cold, he and Johnny had been in the office for a long time. He’d almost forgotten he had the other team waiting. He didn’t need to talk to Roy since he’d made sure Johnny was okay. “Oh hey guys, thanks for sticking around. You can go now.” The two men didn’t hesitate at all in sliding their chairs back waving at the men from the A-shift. Hank filled his cup before turning back to the rest of his crew. “Give me a few more minutes to speak to Roy; then we’ll have roll call.”
“Okay Cap.” Mike spoke up for the group.
“Cap?” Chet started. “Uh, is Gage…?” He didn’t finish the question. It was sounding too concerned for the Phantom.
“He’s fine, Chet.” Cap chuckled. “He’s out here doing the equipment check if you want to ask him yourself.” He knew the guys would want to find out what had just happened in the office, but knowing Johnny wanted to keep Chet guessing, he doubted they would get much information. He turned and hurried back to his office. When he stepped across the threshold of his office he noticed Roy sitting with his empty coffee cup dangling from his finger. “I’m sorry Roy did you want a refill?”
Roy looked at the cup and up at his superior. “No sir.” An unfamiliar coldness laced his voice. “Listen Cap, I know you have replacements waiting in the kitchen, so let’s just get this over with.” Roy spoke with a derogatory tone. It was very unlike him to speak that way to Captain Stanley or any other superior. The man had a definite respect for authority; probably learned it while serving in the military. He felt himself cringe at his own actions, but he just couldn’t control the anger that had been building.
“Ahem.” Stanley cleared his throat to gain his own composure. “Okay, then why don’t you start by telling me what exactly is going on between you and your partner?” He took his seat and sat his mug down almost hard enough to spill the contents on the desk. This was not going the way he had intended.
Roy shot up from his chair. “Is this about my partner, cause if it is I would just as soon you send me home now and quit wasting both of our time.”
Stanley stood and faced his senior paramedic. “I’m going to overlook the fact that you are crossing the line of insubordination and let you calm yourself down and answer my question.”
Roy deflated. “Sorry, Cap. I… I’m not… I don’t know.” He ran his hand through his hair and returned to his seat. “Things have gotten so out of control.”
“I can see that.” Stanley said as he too resumed his seat. He’d just sent the other team home. The last thing he wanted to do was have to call someone else in, but he would if Roy didn’t calm down and prove to him that he could complete the shift without any more altercations with the rest of the crew.
“Cap are you sending us home? Is Johnny okay?”
Hank looked at Roy with confusion. How did he know? “What would make you think that?”
“The paramedics from the other shift are still here. They said you asked them to stay.” Roy said softly while looking at his hands in his lap.
Hank almost laughed. Of course Roy had seen the other men; that’s how he knew. “No, I asked them to stay until I made sure your partner was healthy enough to perform his job. Something, I might add that I would normally expect from you. He says he’s okay, so I sent them home just now. I asked them both to stay in case I needed you to take him to Rampart.”
Roy simply nodded his head and continued starring at his hands.
“So… now that we have that out of the way, how about you tell me what brought on all that yelling I heard this morning before we get toned out.” The words had no sooner left his mouth when the tones rang out. Both men stood quickly, opened the door and met their crew mates in the bay. Both vehicles were called out to a house fire. The explanation would have to wait.
Johnny looked at Roy with a ‘You okay?’ question in his eyes. Roy turned away and waited for the call slip. Johnny sighed. It was going to be a very long shift.
Roy stopped in his tracks; looking at the lineman’s back with wonder at what was bothering his friend. After a momentary hesitation he turned toward the coffee pot. “Morning.” He spoke to the men from the other shift that were getting up from the table to leave. He grabbed a cup from the drain tray, but noticed the coffee was not quite ready. He sat the cup on the counter, turned and leaned against it. “What are you guys waiting for?” He asked the two paramedics still seated.
“Your Captain asked us to hang around.”
Roy’s mouth opened and his hands dropped to his sides. “Why? Johnny and I are both here. What’s going on?” Worry raced through his mind. He didn’t get much of an answer; only shoulder shrugs. Was Cap sending Johnny home? Maybe he was in trouble for coming in looking so rough, but why both of them? He lowered his chin to his chest when realization sunk in. Cap had heard them arguing. Maybe he was in trouble too. Jo would kill him if he got suspended. A suspension could eliminate him from the promotion to engineer. He turned to the coffee pot. The thought of missing out on the promotion didn’t really upset him that much making him wonder. “Coffee’s ready.” He poured some in his cup and turned back to the table trying to mask the emotions racing inside. He held up the pot, but got head nods from everyone. He slid the pot back into place and grabbed his cup returning to the bay.
“Are we good, Cap?” Johnny asked as he scooted to the end of the chair like a kid ready to bolt.
“Well, are you sure you’re okay?” Cap raised his eyebrows and tilted his head to the side. Johnny had said he was okay, but he had a tendency to do that when he really wasn’t.
“Yeah I’m good.”
“Tell Desoto I want to see him.”
Johnny hesitated before rising. “Cap, don’t be too hard on Roy, okay? It’s only a few more shifts. I can get by. I’ll just keep to myself.”
Hank smiled at the concern Johnny still had for Roy. Maybe this friendship could withstand the upcoming change after all. “Just send him in, John. The outcome of this meeting will be up to him.”
“Yes sir.” Johnny said softly as he turned to leave. “Thanks Cap.”
Hank reached for his coffee and took an experimental sip which caused a grimace. It was cold. He put the cup down and pushed his tongue across the roof of his mouth trying to get the taste to go away. He’d already sent for Roy which meant he didn’t have time to get a fresh cup. “To hell with it.” He whispered to himself. As he got up from the chair.
Johnny almost tripped over Roy as he rounded the Squad to do the morning equipment check. “Oh…um…Cap wants to see ya.” He spouted out while regaining his balance.
Roy closed the drug box, stood slowly and put it back in the compartment. He grabbed his cup from the top and walked around the front of the truck. “It’s all done except the bio-phone.” His ire had risen as he counted the medications. Johnny’s little tirade in the locker room had probably gained them both some trouble. Trouble that he didn’t deserve or want. Why couldn’t Johnny just let him leave on a good note? Why did everything have to be about John Gage?
Johnny turned and watched Roy leave looking like he’d just been slapped. He reached for the bio-phone and jerked it from the shelf practically slamming it down on the concrete floor, flipped the lid and haphazardly attached the antennae. His hand was shaking so bad it took three tries to snap it into place. He looked up in the direction of the office as he grabbed the receiver and twisted the control to activate the line. He sat back on his heels before depressing the talk button; his eyes still looking in the direction his best friend had gone. This was getting ridiculous. They were best friends. Why were they constantly berating each other? His eyes turned back to the abused piece of equipment. He’d just promised Cap that he could work with Roy. Now he needed to try to do just that. He raised the piece to his ear and depressed the button. “Rampart this is Squad 51, how do you read me?” He asked softly.
Dixie was sitting on the stool at the nurse’s station when she heard the familiar crackle of the radio. She slid from her perch as she heard Johnny calling in. She looked at the radio when he asked a second time for confirmation. The sadness in that transmission was apparent. She lifted the receiver and answered, “Squad 51, this is Rampart.”
“Please stand by for radio test.”
There was none of the normal morning greeting, just a standard transmission that would please the radio Gods. Dixie frowned. “Standing by.” She flipped the switch on the machine to her right and watched as the paper began to feed. “Looks good, 51. Have a safe shift.” She offered a bone hoping to get some kind of cheer from the voice on the other end.
“10-4, 51 out.”
Dixie almost slammed the receiver into its cradle wondering what was going on with Johnny. She knew he and Roy had been having difficulty with Roy’s promotion; they all had. Losing one of the best paramedics in the program to a promotion because the Fire Department couldn’t see the advantage to keeping them certified was a hard blow to those who were there at the beginning. They had fought so hard to get the program going only to lose good men to the pursuit of advancement, first Stoney; now Roy. It made her angry and sad at the same time. That must be part of what was wrong with her boys. Whatever it was, when they came into the ER later she planned to do what she could to help them work things out. Those two were too important to her to sit by and watch them self destruct. She turned back to her stool and the chart she’d been working on. Right now, duty called.
“Have a seat. I’ll be right back.” Captain Stanley pointed to the chair as he moved past Roy to get a hot cup of coffee. He felt much better after talking to Johnny. Now all he had to do was have a little discussion with Roy about his attitude the past few shifts, and they could get down to the business of running a fire station.
Roy moved aside to let him pass and slumped into the chair silently thanking his partner for the dressing down he thought he was about to get. Why else would Cap ask the other paramedics to stay?
Johnny must have talked his way out of a reprimand, since he had come over to do the equipment check; that meant the brunt of trouble had landed on Roy’s shoulders. Well he could take it. He took it in the military. He could take it now. A grunt came from deep within. He took the last sup of coffee as he leaned back in the chair with a huff and set his mind to doing just that.
Hank hurried into the kitchen and over to the coffee pot like a man on a mission. He saw the two paramedics waiting at the table. If his coffee had gotten cold, he and Johnny had been in the office for a long time. He’d almost forgotten he had the other team waiting. He didn’t need to talk to Roy since he’d made sure Johnny was okay. “Oh hey guys, thanks for sticking around. You can go now.” The two men didn’t hesitate at all in sliding their chairs back waving at the men from the A-shift. Hank filled his cup before turning back to the rest of his crew. “Give me a few more minutes to speak to Roy; then we’ll have roll call.”
“Okay Cap.” Mike spoke up for the group.
“Cap?” Chet started. “Uh, is Gage…?” He didn’t finish the question. It was sounding too concerned for the Phantom.
“He’s fine, Chet.” Cap chuckled. “He’s out here doing the equipment check if you want to ask him yourself.” He knew the guys would want to find out what had just happened in the office, but knowing Johnny wanted to keep Chet guessing, he doubted they would get much information. He turned and hurried back to his office. When he stepped across the threshold of his office he noticed Roy sitting with his empty coffee cup dangling from his finger. “I’m sorry Roy did you want a refill?”
Roy looked at the cup and up at his superior. “No sir.” An unfamiliar coldness laced his voice. “Listen Cap, I know you have replacements waiting in the kitchen, so let’s just get this over with.” Roy spoke with a derogatory tone. It was very unlike him to speak that way to Captain Stanley or any other superior. The man had a definite respect for authority; probably learned it while serving in the military. He felt himself cringe at his own actions, but he just couldn’t control the anger that had been building.
“Ahem.” Stanley cleared his throat to gain his own composure. “Okay, then why don’t you start by telling me what exactly is going on between you and your partner?” He took his seat and sat his mug down almost hard enough to spill the contents on the desk. This was not going the way he had intended.
Roy shot up from his chair. “Is this about my partner, cause if it is I would just as soon you send me home now and quit wasting both of our time.”
Stanley stood and faced his senior paramedic. “I’m going to overlook the fact that you are crossing the line of insubordination and let you calm yourself down and answer my question.”
Roy deflated. “Sorry, Cap. I… I’m not… I don’t know.” He ran his hand through his hair and returned to his seat. “Things have gotten so out of control.”
“I can see that.” Stanley said as he too resumed his seat. He’d just sent the other team home. The last thing he wanted to do was have to call someone else in, but he would if Roy didn’t calm down and prove to him that he could complete the shift without any more altercations with the rest of the crew.
“Cap are you sending us home? Is Johnny okay?”
Hank looked at Roy with confusion. How did he know? “What would make you think that?”
“The paramedics from the other shift are still here. They said you asked them to stay.” Roy said softly while looking at his hands in his lap.
Hank almost laughed. Of course Roy had seen the other men; that’s how he knew. “No, I asked them to stay until I made sure your partner was healthy enough to perform his job. Something, I might add that I would normally expect from you. He says he’s okay, so I sent them home just now. I asked them both to stay in case I needed you to take him to Rampart.”
Roy simply nodded his head and continued starring at his hands.
“So… now that we have that out of the way, how about you tell me what brought on all that yelling I heard this morning before we get toned out.” The words had no sooner left his mouth when the tones rang out. Both men stood quickly, opened the door and met their crew mates in the bay. Both vehicles were called out to a house fire. The explanation would have to wait.
Johnny looked at Roy with a ‘You okay?’ question in his eyes. Roy turned away and waited for the call slip. Johnny sighed. It was going to be a very long shift.
Chapter Seventeen
So it became just the fire and him, and all other sights and sounds faded to nothing.
He'd been forced to bend over and grab his ankles while the situation unfolded around him out of nowhere. Now it was just a question of when to stand up and where to run to escape the fury that was slowly engulfing the walls and tearing away at the ceiling above. He winced as he checked out one of the four doors in the hall staring back at him. Maybe he could reach it... Maybe not, but it might be his only chance; then again once inside, he hoped there would be a window. He quickly pushed himself up from his crouched position and lunged for the opening just as the knowing sounds of defeat spread across the popcorn ceiling; two seconds later and he would have seen the underside of the falling debris. He slammed the door and kept moving across the darkened room as far away from the crashing noises as he could get; his momentum slammed him against the far wall with a whoosh, just to the right of the glorious sight of the window he'd needed.
He rolled to the side, breathing heavily; sweat coating his skin and squeezed his eyes shut before turning back. He'd been reliving the fire since yesterday. The situation had deteriorated quickly once Roy had started out of the building with their victim leaving him alone on the second floor to complete the search. They didn't usually search alone, but there were only four more rooms. Roy would've sent Chet or Marco up to back him on his way out. There just hadn't been time.
Wearing nothing but his boxers; sleep still crusting the corners of his eyes; he stumbled from the bedroom into the hall where he had to stop. He leaned into the wall to catch his breath and let the cobwebs clear, but the knocking at the door urged him on. His head spun and he felt like crap. Without a clue who was on the other side of the door, he unhooked the chain and slid the bar which seemed to echo in his ears; the actions were exhausting. When he cracked open the door the late morning light assaulted his eyes, causing him to squint at the shadowed figure before him. “Yeah?”
“Man, Gage you look like shit.” Chet couldn’t believe the sight standing in front of him. Johnny’s hair practically stood on end. He looked like a starving refugee the way the lines of each rib shown through his skin. He’d always been skinny, but now… now he looked like a good wind would topple him over. Chet held up the take out container. “Got coffee here; you look like you could use some.”
Johnny shuffled away from the door; leaving it open. Chet stepped into the dark room, stopping just inside to let his eyes adjust. Johnny slumped down onto the couch and leaned his head back lightly hitting it against the wall eliciting a moan.
“Here.” Chet held the Styrofoam cup out and waited as Johnny sat forward rubbing sleep from his eyes. He looked up to take the cup still squinting even though it was dark in the room. He lowered it to his lap and sat holding it. Chet rummaged through the sack and pulled out two paper wrapped breakfast sandwiches. The smell caused Johnny’s stomach to roll. Chet mistook the noise as hunger. “I knew you’d be hungry. I got you one of these.” He pushed the sandwich toward Johnny, who leaned forward and sat his coffee down. He held up his hand pushing Chet’s away.
“Huh uh.” Johnny grunted and collapsed against the cushions again.
Chet dropped into the recliner. “Come on, Gage. You gotta eat something. You look like you’re wasting away.”
“’m all right. Just give me a minute.”
“Okay, but I’m not waitin’ on ya.” Chet took the wrapper off his sandwich and took a bite hoping his eating would spur Johnny to eat too. Johnny hadn’t eaten this morning before they got off shift, and he suspected by the way he looked that he had gone straight to bed when he got home. The fire early in the shift had nearly led to another bad situation, and the rest of the shift had been just as grueling. The station had been called out to one fire after another for most of the day, and then a big pile up on the freeway in the middle of the night. The normal ease that Johnny and Roy worked with had been missing which only made the job for all of them more difficult. It was like working with replacements when one of the two was out on vacation or sick leave. He, Mike and Marco had already been talking about how things would be different once Roy was gone. It would take a while for Johnny and his new partner to fall into a groove.
By the time he finished his food Johnny had lain down on the couch and fallen back to sleep. With a deep sigh Chet cleaned up his mess. He took Johnny’s untouched food to the kitchen where he placed it in the nearly empty fridge for later. Before closing the door he scratched his head in wonder. Usually, Johnny would have a load of leftovers from dinners at the Desoto’s. Joanne always made sure Johnny took home extras for later. She knew his bachelor habits and that cereal and hot dogs wouldn’t keep him healthy enough for the demanding physical needs of their job. The scant contents before him meant only one thing. Johnny hadn’t been to Roy’s house in a long time. As he closed the door he noticed a prescription bottle on the cabinet. He glanced over his shoulder to make sure Johnny was still asleep and wouldn’t see him snooping; then he reached for the bottle and read the label. ‘Why are you taking these?’ Chet noticed the date on the bottle. It was from months ago; from another injury. ‘Should you be taking these?’ He set the bottle back down. On the way back to his seat he flipped on the TV, and then settled in to find something to watch. This had been a tough week for his pigeon; he was worried about him.
The morning turned to afternoon and now both men were asleep. Something woke Chet. He stirred a little and closed his eyes again. Before he slipped back into his nap, he heard the door open making him immediately alert. When he whipped around to face the door he came face to face with an equally startled Roy. His eyes darted from Roy to Johnny and back again. “What are you doing?”
Roy looked at him with irritation written all over his face, “I could ask you that same thing.” He stepped into the room noticing Johnny asleep on the couch. “Is he okay?”
“Keep it down. Can’t you see he’s sleeping?” Chet whispered through his fingers as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. “I guess I fell asleep too.”
Roy chuckled, “Looks that way. Seriously Chet, what’s up with him? The only time he sleeps on his days off is when he’s sick or hurt.”
“I’m not sure. He was up when I got here with breakfast, but he didn’t eat what I brought. Next thing I know, he’s sound asleep; been right there all morning.” Chet almost told Roy about the muscle relaxers, but he decided not to betray his friend; at least not yet. “I thought we might catch a ball game or go bowling, but…” He shrugged. He knew his real purpose for stopping by had been to try to get Johnny to eat, but he’d never admit that to Roy, or anyone else for that matter.
Roy stepped over beside his sleeping partner and carefully reached for the wrist that rested across his eyes. He glanced at his watch and after a minute slid his fingers away carefully. His hands moved to his waist; he stood watching his respirations. It wasn’t like Johnny to sleep through noise. He usually woke up when the station speaker clicked, even before the call came out. He was really asleep. He turned to Chet. “He seems okay, just sleeping. Why’d you stay? Is there something else going on?”
Chet sighed, “I don’t know. The past few shifts have been hard on all of us, first there was that ceiling collapse you both got caught in, and then yesterday, he almost got it again. He already looked wiped out when he got to the station, and after he climbed out that window he looked like he might collapse. He brushed it off and kept on going like he always does.” Chet absently rubbed his temple. “I don’t know. He just don’t look right.”
“Well, he seems okay.” Brushing off his own worry, Roy stepped around the coffee table and back toward the door. “I need to get back. I told Joanne I was only going to the hardware.”
“Then why are you here?”
“What?” Roy’s mind had been deep in thought and he didn’t hear Chet. He was worried about Johnny too. They hadn’t been getting along lately, and he knew it was partly his fault. “Oh… uh, I… uh, a wrench, I need to borrow one of his wrenches. I’ll just get it some other time.” He reached for the door knob. “Hey Chet, don’t tell him I was here.” He pulled the door open and disappeared before Chet had a chance to recover from the last statement.
Chet heard Johnny stir. He settled back in the chair and waited.
Johnny lowered his arm, glanced at his wrist with a confused look and turned on his side looking toward the door. That’s when he noticed Chet. “You still here?” he asked in a gravelly voice.
“Yeah, I guess we were both tired. I fell asleep too.”
Johnny rose to sit. He rubbed his eyes. “Man, I didn’t know I was that tired.”
“It was a hard shift.” Chet said as he got up from the chair. “You got some coffee?”
Johnny followed him into the kitchen. “Yeah, I’ll make a pot.” He grabbed the pot and turned toward the sink noticing the prescription bottle as he did. He turned on the tap and as it filled the pot, he slid the bottle into a drawer. He didn’t know Chet had already seen it. He’d only taken the ones the other day, but didn’t feel like explaining. He rubbed his eyes. He’d felt sluggish ever since taking them, but then like Chet said they’d just finished a hard shift. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep on ya. You want to get a burger or something? Hey, let’s go bowling?”
Chet smiled. This was the Johnny he was used to, spontaneous and always ready to find some fun. “Sure, but I’m starved.”
Johnny put the pot of coffee on, and then he turned around scratching his head. “Didn’t you bring breakfast?” He reached for the refrigerator door and ducked his head inside. By the time he turned around, he was eating the cold breakfast sandwich.
“Gross Gage, you could at least warm it up.”
“Um uh, too hungry,” Johnny said with a mouth full; then smiled with bread between his teeth making Chet laugh. Then Johnny wadded up the wrapper and tossed it into the trash. “I’m gonna grab a quick shower while the coffee makes.” Before Chet could even respond the Gage whirlwind was out of the room. Johnny was glad Chet had stayed. He had been kind of lonely the past week. He whistled as he slipped into the shower. After the bad shift and equally bad dreams last night and this morning, he was determined to make this a good day.
Chet was amazed at the change in Johnny after the nap. Sure, he’d slept for a few hours, even missing Roy’s visit, but the change was drastic. He scratched his head and turned to check on the coffee. As he did, he noticed the pill bottle was gone. His concern from earlier came back in full force. Why would Johnny hide the bottle? Had he taken some when he got off shift? Why? Was he hiding an injury again? What else was he hiding?
Before he had time to think too much he heard Johnny coming back down the hall. He turned around in time to see Johnny bounce into the kitchen with a towel around his waist and another draped over his shoulders. “Is it ready?” He didn’t wait for an answer. He never slowed down as he crossed the room and grabbed a cup from the drain tray while picking up the pot at the same time. Chet turned as Johnny passed him by. He felt like a tree being whipped around in a storm. “Here.” Johnny handed him a cup. “Hey, let’s call Marco and Mike.” Johnny sipped his coffee as he headed toward the phone.
“Okay.” Chet answered needlessly, because Johnny was already dialing.
Chapter Eighteen
As soon as Captain Stanley dismissed them, Johnny asked Mike if he would move the engine out onto the apron. He moved the Squad. He’d already done the equipment checks and inventory of the drug and trauma boxes before roll call. His duty for the day was the equipment bay, and he wanted to get it done. He heard Mike grumble, “There had better be some coffee left,” as he climbed up into the cab. Johnny had no desire to join the guys in the kitchen this morning, the thought of sitting around the table listening to everyone asking Roy when he was transferring for the past few shifts had gotten as old as the tension between the two of them. The “next shift” the department had hinted to Cap, had turned into three already. Three miserably long days of Johnny feeling like he had to walk on egg shells with the person he thought he could talk to about anything, but not anymore. Now, he could hardly stand to be in the same room with Roy. He’d never admit it, but being around Roy right now always ended with him getting his feelings hurt or his anger stirred to new levels.
Bowling with Chet, Marco and Mike the day before had been a lot of fun. Johnny had even forgotten about the upcoming changes. He’d felt like his old self except for his bruised and sore back. It would be a long time before Chester B would let him live down the fact that he lost. Johnny never lost at bowling, but yesterday, he just couldn’t get his groove on. Chet had beaten him by only two pins, but that was enough to leave Johnny with treating the others to a dinner of pizza and beer back at his place. The four of them had watched the ball game. All in all, except for the crappy way he bowled, it had been a good afternoon. Since they were on shift today, they had called it quits early in the evening. Johnny had slept well last night and woken this morning with the lingering good mood from the day before. But now, being back at the station had prompted Johnny’s bad mood to return.
He splashed water, spilling it over the sides of the mop bucket every time he pushed the mop into the sudsy water. At this rate, he would never get the bay mopped. He was making a bigger mess than he’d started out with. He swished the mop from side to side trying to contain the soapy puddle before it spread over, onto the part of the floor he had already cleaned. He pushed the suds toward the open back, bay doors and the hot sun out back. Thankfully, the rest of the crew had stayed in the kitchen out of his way. When he finally got the mess contained to the back lot, he finished mopping the bay and pushed the rolling bucket over to the large sink to dump the dirty water. He bent over to lift the bucket and felt the pull on his back muscles. Once he had the cleaning supplies returned to the closet, Johnny decided maybe a little stretching would do him some good, but first he had to back the squad in. He’d leave the engine until Mike had time to finish his coffee. He knew Mike wouldn’t leave his baby out on the apron for too long. He loved that engine and treated her like one might cherish a classic car.
The station had some weights and simple workout equipment. One of Johnny’s favorites was the inversion boots and chin up bar. He slipped off his shirt and t-shirt so he wouldn’t get them all sweaty, and then he toed his work boots off before sitting on the bench and buckling the inversion boots around his ankles. He walked over to the chin up bar, reached up, adjusted his grip and with little effort swung his legs up just high enough to hook the boots on the bar; then, he lowered himself in a controlled descent where his head almost touched the floor. He hung there for a few minutes, feeling the stretch in his back. He bent at the waist and reached up for the bar, shifting his legs a little to make sure he was in alignment. He lowered himself again and crossed his arms across his chest. He curled at the waist and raised his upper body in an inverted crunch. It felt good to stretch out his back and feel the burn in his legs and abs as he continued repetitions, up; down, up; down, breathe in through the nose; breathe out through the mouth. After fifty, he alternated to a crisscross inverted sit-up with his hands behind his head, crossing his elbow to the opposing knee and again on the other side. He could feel it in his sore muscles, but he’d learned a long time ago: no pain, no gain.
Roy had been looking for his partner. He thought they needed to make a supply run to Rampart. He’d looked in all the usual places, the hood of the Rover, the picnic table, the hose tower, the squad’s cab, the kitchen, Cap’s office and the locker room, so the dorm or weight area were the only other options. He heard the noise as Johnny’s weight shifted up and down, causing the inversion boots to rock slightly against the bar. Roy knew how much Johnny liked hanging upside down working out. The man had to have abs of steel. Roy preferred to do his sit-ups the old fashioned way, the way he’d learned in the military. He still did his push-ups that way too, except he also did them one handed for extra endurance training. He stopped just out of Johnny’s view if he turned around and watched him work out. Johnny’s back was still covered in a colorful array of the different shades of purples and yellows that healing bruises tended to turn. They were healing, but no doubt still hurt. Johnny’s back glistened with perspiration, but he didn’t look like he had even begun to tire. Roy hated to interrupt his friend, but duty called. They needed to get the supplies, and he wanted to talk to Johnny. He stepped forward and stood just out of the way. Johnny never heard him approach. He continued bending and twisting from one side to the other. Roy could hear him counting softly. He cleared his throat and waited.
Johnny lowered himself and placed a hand on the ground, twisting slightly to see who was behind him. “What do ya want, Roy? I’m working out here.”
“We need to restock before we get a run.”
“I think we’re okay. I have the list of supplies we need in my notebook. We’ll stock up when we get a run.” Johnny raised his hand and crossed his fingers behind his head in preparation to begin his exercises. As far as he was concerned the matter was closed. He bent at the waist turning his elbow to his knee and twisted so his other elbow reached for the other knee. He twisted side to side while suspended in an upside down curl.
“I think we need to do it now.” Roy sounded insistent which served only to aggravate Johnny who ignored his partner. He continued to twist and count. “Come on, Johnny. Let’s get this over with. Then, we can come back here and relax until we get a run.”
Johnny lowered his body straight, and then bent up and grabbed the bar, unhooking his feet and dropping them to the floor. His hands moved to his hips. “Roy, I did the inventory myself. I am perfectly aware of what supplies we have and what supplies we need. I know we can wait until we get a run. Why are you insisting we go now?”
Roy shifted his stance. His own hands went to his hips. “I just think we need to be prepared. You know that’s how I feel. You used to think the same way.”
Johnny moved over to the bench and sat down to unbuckle the boots. Roy was right. He did feel the same way. He was just avoiding having to spend time alone in the squad with Roy. “Okay, you’re right, but give me a few minutes to clean up. I’ll meet you in the squad.” He grabbed his shirts and boots; stood up and moved toward the locker room.
Roy went out the other door into the bay and leaned against the brick wall. While he waited his thoughts turned back to the day before. He knew he had gone to Johnny’s to talk to him; iron out their differences and try to salvage their friendship. Why he had told Chet not to tell Johnny he had been there was a mystery. What had he been thinking? All he ended up doing was driving around for an hour, stopping at the park and sitting at one of the picnic tables for what he thought was ample time to have had a long conversation with Johnny, and then, returned home only to tell Joanne a fat lie about where he’d been all that time. It seemed he couldn’t do anything right lately. All he seemed to be doing was making everyone angry. All he wanted to do was move on to his new assignment and keep his family intact, which included Johnny. Things had gone too far to turn back now. He pushed off the brick wall and walked over to the driver’s side of the squad to wait for Johnny. He leaned over the hood, planting his elbows and resting his chin in his hands.
His thoughts drifted to when he walked in to Johnny’s apartment only to find him and Chet both sound asleep. Roy thought Johnny still looked pale. He had been worried about him ever since the collapsed ceiling that injured his back. He knew the tension between them was his fault. He knew Johnny had only been trying to be supportive. That was Johnny’s nature. He would never tell him not to take the promotion even if it wasn’t what he wanted. Johnny would never be anything but supportive, and that sometimes got him in over his head. He would try too hard to be helpful and end up getting himself in trouble in the process. Roy smiled at the memory of Johnny squirming in the cab of the squad when he found out how upset Joanne had been at Roy telling Johnny about the argument they had gotten in over his calling Joanne to give her Mike’s spaghetti recipe. He also remembered the time Johnny had been insistent on taking care of the kids while he and Joanne went out to their anniversary dinner when he had been sick for days. Both kids ended up with colds. Joanne tried not to be angry with Johnny, but two sick kids could wear on anyone.
Roy stood back up and tried to see where Johnny was. He wondered what was taking him so long.
Johnny splashed water on his face and chest. He grabbed a wad of paper towels and dried off. He tossed the towels in the trash and leaned against the porcelain sink, feeling the coolness on his hands. He took several cleansing breaths and slipped his t-shirt over his head. He took his time buttoning his shirt before moving to the bench to sit. He slowly untied the work boots he’d toed off earlier. He slid first one foot and then the other into the boots before bending to tie them. Once he had the boots on he stood to tuck in his shirt. Why wouldn’t the tones sound? Any other time when he tried to work out or they wanted to restock before a run the tones would interrupt. It was like the fates were against him in a different way today. It was like the fates intended for him to have to talk to Roy. He sighed and pushed open the door that led to the bay. He looked up and locked eyes with the object of his thoughts. Roy was waiting on him and looked none too happy about how long it had taken him to get ready. “Uh… sorry.”
“Sorry about what?” Roy said as he slid into the driver’s seat.
“Sorry I took too long.” Johnny quipped as he slid into the passenger side; aggravation at Roy’s nonchalant response laced his voice.
“No worries.” Roy responded as he shifted the squad into drive. “Let’s just get this done.”
Johnny propped his elbow on his knee, rested his chin in his palm and stared out the passenger side window, hoping they could make this trip in relative silence. He knew Roy wanted to talk. He could feel it.
“Johnny, I...” Before Roy could finish his first sentence the radio squawked calling them out to a possible overdose.