Just Another Screw Up
by GCS
DISCLAIMER: "Emergency!" and its characters © Mark VII Productions, Inc. and Universal Studios. All rights reserved. No infringement of any copyrights or trademarks is intended or should be inferred. This is a work of fiction, and any similarity to actual persons or events is purely coincidental. This story is only written for entertainment. No financial gain is being realized from it. The story, itself, is the property of the author.
The sun had disappeared behind the clouds as Johnny and Roy tried to get the new boards in place on the roof of the storage shed in Roy's back yard. If they hurried they would be able to get the blue tarp back in place before the rain started. "Hand me the hammer Johnny. I'll just secure this board and then we'll strap down the tarp."
Johnny handed Roy the requested hammer and began stretching the tarp over the other section of roof. Roy finished with the hammer and hung it on his tool belt. Reaching for the tarp just as the downpour started. The two men scrambled down the ladders and grabbed for the tools they had been using. They both ran for the house. The rain was pelting down on the two men as they ran for the cover of the garage. Now drenched and out of breath the two friends looked back at the storm and laughed.
"Give me the skill saw Johnny. I'll put it away first then we can put the rest of the tools here on the workbench."
Johnny looked at Roy guiltily. "Uh, Roy I um. I'll be right back."
"Don't tell me you left it out there in…in that!" He glared at his friend. "That was my father's skill saw Johnny! Why would you just leave it out in the rain? It…it probably won't ever work right again. How could you do that?" Roy screamed at his friend. "How could you just leave it out there?"
Johnny stared at his friend open mouthed. He hesitated for only a second and then turned and walked back out into the downpour. Roy saw that his friend was going to pick up the saw which was still plugged into the extension cord, and to prevent him from possibly getting shocked from the cord in the wet rain he grabbed the cord and yanked it from the wall just as Johnny picked up the saw. A few seconds later Johnny walked back in the garage sat the saw down on the workbench, turned and walked back out into the rain. He never said a word to Roy, but the look in his eyes made it evident to Roy that he had really hurt his friend. It was after all just a saw, but it had been his father's saw. Of course Roy had not thought to grab the saw either, but Johnny had used it last. He should have known how important that particular saw was to Roy. He had told him that it had been his father's hadn't he? Roy's emotions ran from angry to upset at himself for yelling at his best friend, but he was mad. He was mad that his father's saw was probably ruined. He looked up as Johnny's white Land Rover disappeared down the street.
Roy used his air compressor to blow the water out of the saw. He carefully turned it one direction and then another until he was certain he had dried it out the best he could. He cleaned all the parts, took off the blade and laid it out on the workbench to finish drying. He hoped it would work again, but it would need to air dry for a while before he would know. After putting the other tools away he pulled off his wet shoes and went into the house through the door that led from the garage into the kitchen.
"Roy I have some sandwiches, chips and ice tea ready for you and Johnny on the table." Looking up from folding the clothes that she had just taken out of the dryer Joanne wrinkled her forehead in question. "Where's Johnny?"
"He uh got drenched. He went home." Roy did not actually lie to Joanne, but he also did not tell her the whole story. He still had very mixed emotions about what had happened. Not sure if he was angry at Johnny or himself for yelling at Johnny Roy was not ready to talk about it. "I think he decided to just head on home and eat there. We got the boards in place just before the rain hit. I might be able to get the shingles on tomorrow if it isn't raining."
"Okay well I hate Johnny didn't stay and eat. I fixed chocolate cake for desert. He loves chocolate cake. Well if he comes to help with the shingles tomorrow he can have some then."
"Yeah, but I think he may have plans tomorrow. He said something about chores, and we are back on shift Monday morning. I don't know if he will be over tomorrow." Roy felt like a kid who was trying to hide something from his mother. He and Joanne had promised to always be honest with each other, but he had not decided if he was right or wrong for the way he treated Johnny. He decided that he would tell Joanne later. Now he just wanted to eat. Sitting down at the table he could not help but look over at the plate of sandwiches that awaited his friend. He could not help but feel sad that Johnny was not there to enjoy his meal. Roy knew that Johnny was always borderline underweight when they had their physicals for the fire department. He knew that Johnny did not always eat well when he was at home by himself. Joanne had decided early on in their partnership that it was her duty to see that Johnny ate better and put on a few pounds. They had been partners for just over a year now. Johnny had become like part of the family. Why had he yelled at his friend over a stupid saw?
No it was not just a stupid saw. It was one of the few things Roy had that belonged to his father. He had worked very hard to take care of the treasured power tool. He would not be able to simply forget that his so called best friend and partner would leave such an important part of Roy's past lying out there in the grass in a storm. No he could not let that go. Not now and maybe not ever. Roy Desoto was angry. He was angry at Johnny. He did not remember ever being this upset with his friend. Johnny had really let him down this time. No getting around it. Johnny had screwed up.
Johnny drove home in a daze. He pulled his Rover into the apartment lot without even knowing how he got there. He put the car in park, secured the parking break, got out and walked very slowly to the stairs not even realizing that it was still pouring down rain. He was drenched to the bone. The rain was so hard that had he noticed he might have realized that truthfully he could barely see where he was walking. Slowly climbing the stairs he made his way to his apartment door. Leaning his head against the door frame he just stood in the hall for he did not know how long. Slowly he reached up, slipped the key into the deadbolt and let himself into the darkened room. Not even turning on the lights he sunk down on the couch, put his head in his hands and just sat very still for a long time trying to figure out why his best friend had gotten so angry at him over a saw.
To tell the truth Johnny knew that Roy loved that saw. He had shown it in great detail to Johnny many times over the past few months. Telling him how he and his father had gone to the hardware to pick out the saw together, and how Roy's father had let him be the first to use the saw. Roy had told Johnny how his dad used the saw to build the bookshelves that Roy needed for his bedroom. How he had built Roy's mother a coffee table and matching end tables using that saw. How could he have not remembered to get his friend's treasured saw? Why had he thought more about getting his sorry butt out of the rain than to remember something that meant so much to Roy, something that could not be replaced?
Having lost his own parents when he was a young teen, Johnny knew how important the simple things that brought back any memory of them were. Why was he so stupid sometimes? Why couldn't he not be such a screw up?
Sighing deeply Johnny leaned back on the couch and just sat there, still wet to the core, now shivering but not caring or even noticing. Night fall came and Johnny still sat there on the couch. Finally he got up to take care of some personal business in the restroom, and took off the already dried clothes. Stripping down to his boxer shorts he slid into the bed. He had not eaten since breakfast, but he just didn't care. He lay in the bed staring at the ceiling, but not sleeping, not caring, he was just numb.
After his parents died Johnny had not fit in anywhere. No one had wanted him until his aunt out here in California agreed to take him in. Sure as a half breed he had not truly fit in anywhere even on the reservation, but when his parent's were alive he had them and nothing else seemed to matter. Johnny adored his parents. Sure he loved his aunt, but it was not the same as it had been with his parents. They were special. Their love was special. Johnny had not felt completely comfortable around anyone since his parent's died until he met Roy and the guys at Station 51. Now he was not sure if they would want him around anymore. He was such a screw up. Nothing had really changed. When it came right down to it he just didn't seem to do anything right. He was always getting hurt on the job, and now he had let down the only really close friend he had ever had.
Sometime in the early morning hours Johnny finally fell into a fitful sleep. He never really got much rest that night. As soon as the first light of the day trickled into his bedroom he was once again awake. He didn't get up. He just laid there staring at the ceiling, still numb to the world. After a few minutes Johnny got up and half walked half stumbled to the restroom. Looking into the medicine chest mirror he saw the dark rings beneath his eyes. Staring at his reflection he felt saddened at the person he saw in his reflection. What a screw up he thought. Turning back to his bedroom Johnny walked over to the bed and crawled back under the covers. He stayed there all day, not eating, not drinking, not caring. He dozed on and off, but mostly he just lay there. At precisely 6 am Monday morning the alarm clock beside Johnny's bed starting ringing. Johnny sighed as he reached over and shut off the offending noise. He had not needed the alarm after all. He had not slept the night before. Now he felt bad. He was cold one minute and hot the next. He was achy and had no appetite. Slowly getting out of the bed Johnny headed into the shower. The hot water felt good on his achy muscles. He took a long shower then quickly dressed so he could get to the station on time. He did not want to screw up again by being late.
When he arrived at the station he swung his Rover into his usual parking spot. He had already dressed into his uniform at home, so he would not have to be in the locker room very long with Roy. He thought that Roy would probably still be upset with him.
"Hey Gage, you look kind of rough there friend." Chet Kelly would not pass up a chance to get one over on his pigeon. "Did you get dumped again?"
Johnny just looked over at Chet with a smirk, shook his head as he stored his extra uniforms, glanced over at his partner who had not said anything or even looked in Johnny's direction, and turned to leave the room.
"What's with him?"
"Leave him alone Chet."
Roy knew he needed to apologize to his friend. He had finally explained to Joanne what had happened on Saturday before Johnny left. She had wondered why he had not come back on Sunday to help finish the job. Johnny was always ready to help Roy on projects around the house in exchange for a home cooked meal. It was not like him to not help finish the projects they had started even if he did have other things that he needed to do. Joanne had helped Roy to see how silly it was to cherish a saw more than he cherished a friend. Thinking to himself that Johnny did not look well Roy got up to follow Johnny to the dayroom. "Hey Johnny hang on a minute."
Johnny actually heard Roy call out to him, but he didn't want to face him if he was still upset about the saw, so he kept walking straight over to the coffee pot. Grabbing a mug he quickly poured himself a cup of coffee, sat at the table and grabbed the sports section of the newspaper. Roy had come into the kitchen just as Johnny sat down and grabbed the paper. Mike Stoker and Marco Lopez were also sitting at the table reading the paper and enjoying some pastries that were set out in the middle of the table. Roy noticed that Johnny who was always the first to grab up one of the sweet treats sometimes brought in to the station, had not even looked in the direction of the food. In truth Johnny had seen the pastries, but the thought of eating any made him nauseas. The truth was he didn't feel well at all. He knew he was feverish, but did not want anyone else to notice, so he just pretended to be engrossed in the paper and sipped his coffee.
"Roll call in five," Captain Stanley announced as he strode over to the coffee pot. Glancing at his youngest crew member the Captain could tell he was not at 100 percent. He had dark circles under his normally bright eyes and his posture was slumped. He was still, too still. Johnny was usually bouncing off the walls. "John are you feeling all right?"
"Yes Cap. I'm feeling fine." Johnny answered his superior with a hint of his normally bright smile. He continued to look at the paper that he was not really reading. He just stared at the words on the page, but could not focus his watery eyes on the print. Blinking a few times to try to clear his vision, Johnny folded the paper, rinsed his coffee mug and walked towards the apparatus bay for roll call. Roy just stood leaning on the counter wondering if his friend were upset with him. Thinking to himself that he was the one that had the right to be angry, why was Johnny acting so like he was angry at him? Shrugging off the nagging suspicion that Johnny might be ill Roy followed the rest of his crewmates to the front of the engine for roll call.
The two partners usually stood side by side, but today Johnny stood on the other side of the group of men as far away from Roy as he could get. Everyone noticed, but no one said anything. After roll call Captain Stanley asked to see Johnny in his office. The two men walked into the office and Stanley closed the door, "Have a seat John."
Johnny sat on the edge of the chair, "What's up Cap?" He asked wondering what he had done to be called into the Captain's office with the door shut. "Um did I uh….did I do something wrong?"
No John you didn't do anything wrong. I just noticed that you don't really look well John. I don't want you to think that you can't use a vacation day or sick day when you need it."
"Thanks Cap, but I'll manage. I'm just a little tired today is all."
"Okay John, but you let me know if you feel that I need to call in a replacement. Okay?"
"Sure Cap, but I'll be fine." Johnny rose from his chair. "Can I go now?"
Captain Stanley nodded his head in agreement to Johnny leaving. "But you'll let me know if you feel worse?"
"Yes sir."
Knowing that he had the dorms to clean and beds to change Johnny stopped by the squad just as Roy shut the compartments. He had completed the morning check and inventory. "If you have that all finished and we don't need to make a supply run I'll be in the dorm."
"Johnny?" Roy wanted to talk to his friend to clear things up. "I…" Looking into Johnny's eyes Roy stopped himself from continuing. "I think we can pick up the supplies on our first run." Johnny lowered his gaze and turned towards the dorm. Roy didn't know why he stopped with his apology. He couldn't explain the vacancy he had seen in Johnny's usually expressive eyes. He felt worse about his actions Saturday, if that was possible. He just had to think of a way to clear up this mess. How had he let himself screw up so royally?
Johnny had thought for a second that Roy was going to apologize or scream at him again. He wasn't sure which, but he hadn't done either. Now thoroughly confused and feeling even worse than when he had arrived at the station he hoped they would have a quiet morning. Thinking he would strip the beds first, remake them and then tackle the floors Johnny headed for the Captain's bunk first.
Roy had to hang hoses with Marco so he headed out back to get started on that chore. Mike had kitchen duty and dayroom. Everyone liked it when Mike had kitchen duty, because he was one of the best cooks on the A-shift. He made the best fried chicken and spaghetti. Johnny especially loved it when Mike cooked, because there were usually leftovers; he always liked to snack. He would often get up in the middle of the night and eat cold chicken with a large glass of milk. Chet as was a common occurrence had latrine duty. Captain Stanley always had paperwork to complete and spent a lot of time at his desk doing just that.
The morning was quiet. The men had plenty of time to complete their respective chore assignments and slowly they had all ended up in the dayroom reading the paper or watching TV, everyone except for the Captain and Johnny. "Where's Gage?" Chet was the first to voice the question on everyone's mind.
"Guess he's still working on the dorm," Marco shrugged his shoulders as he answered Chet's question.
Not wanting to face his friend just yet Roy kept reading the paper acting as if he had not heard Chet ask.
"I think I'll check on him and let him know that lunch will be ready in about 15 minutes," Mike said as he left the kitchen. Mike thought as he strolled across the apparatus bay that his youngest crewmate did not look like he was feeling well this morning. He was glad that he had decided to make fried chicken for lunch, it was one of Johnny's favorites. Opening the door to the dorm he didn't immediately see his friend. Walking further into the room he noticed Johnny stretched out across his bunk. The other beds were made and the dirty laundry piled in the floor beside Johnny's bunk, but it looked like he was in the middle of making his own bed when he had lain down and fallen asleep. Mike chuckled at his friend. "Hey Johnny wake up buddy." He nudged his friend's foot.
"Huh…Wha?" Johnny stirred.
"Lunch in 15."
"Okay Mike I'll be there in a minute. I just have to finish up here." He said as he rubbed his hands across his face trying to wake up. "Man I can't believe I fell asleep."
"You look like you didn't sleep at all this past weekend. What's going on with you Johnny?"
"I uh did somethin'," Johnny paused and rubbed his face again. "Roy he…oh nothin', it's not important."
"Johnny if it has you this worked up it must be important. Why don't you talk to him about it?"
"I can't Mike, he….I think he's still mad. I really messed up." Johnny finished making the bed and grabbed the dirty linens. He quickly put them in the laundry bin. "Look Mike I'll take care of it. Don't worry about it. I've survived a long time on my own. I gotta get this floor done before we get toned out. I don't need Cap mad at me too for not finishing this up."
"Okay Johnny, but if you change your mind and need someone to talk to I'll be around okay?"
"Okay thanks Mike."
Mike left the dorm with a new resolve to find out what was wrong between Johnny and Roy. What ever it was had Johnny very upset and it was taking its toll on him. Johnny had clearly made himself sick over what ever had happened. Stopping by Captain Stanley's office Mike told him lunch would be in about 10 minutes. He then returned to the kitchen to finish getting the meal on the table.
"Did you find Gage?" Chet asked.
"Yeah he's coming."
A short time later all six members of the A-shift took their places around the table each reaching for the food Mike had spread out in the middle. Mike smiled as he saw how happy his friends were with his lunch, but he noticed that Johnny only got one piece of chicken. Thinking to himself that Johnny usually had at least three to get started, Mike's worry about his friend greatly increased. He decided to himself that he would be sure to put some up for Johnny for later when he felt better.
"Hey Gage pass the potatoes," Chet held out his hand expectantly, but Johnny kept his head down and shifted the food around on his plate not really eating. "Earth to Gage!"
"John are you with us?" Captain Stanley was getting more concerned over the health of his crewman.
"Yes sir. Here Chet. Excuse me, I'll be outside." Johnny stood and moved toward the sink to clear his plate.
"Johnny can I have a word with you?" Roy said to his friend.
Johnny brushed by Roy and left the room.
"Roy what is going on with John?" Captain Stanley asked.
"We had a disagreement Saturday Cap, but I'll go straighten everything out." Roy moved to go find his friend when the tones went off calling the station to an office building fire. Climbing into the squad the two paramedics set aside any upset they might have with each other to handle the call. Their personal issues would have to wait.
Station 51 was the first to arrive on the scene putting Captain Stanley in charge. "Chet you and Marco get a line on the front. Roy you and Johnny get your gear in case we need to make a sweep. I'll see if I can find someone who knows if everyone is out. You two be ready."
"Okay Cap." The two paramedics made short work of getting their turnouts and air masks on. Captain Stanley came running back towards them.
"Two missing women from the third floor last office on the right. Make it fast this thing is really hot."
The two paramedics ran into the flaming building as Chet and Marco followed them in to make sure they had a path to the stairs. The additional stations began arriving and Captain Stanley expertly directed their actions towards fighting the fire that was quickly consuming the office building. Johnny and Roy moved quickly towards the office that they had been instructed to search. Johnny tapped Roy on the shoulder and indicated that he would search to the right which meant Roy would go left. Roy nodded his agreement. A few minutes later Johnny yelled to Roy, "I've got them Roy. Over here!"
Roy moved to his partner's side and pulled one of the women into a fireman's carry. Johnny had his mask off and over the face of the second victim. "I'm right behind you partner," Johnny said as he waved his hand towards the door telling Roy to go ahead. Roy paused long enough to see Johnny pull the woman over his shoulders. Roy thought he saw Johnny sway a little as if he were light headed, but then Johnny began moving in his direction. Roy turned and led the way out of the deteriorating structure. As they came down the stairs the two men met with Chet and Marco who were still keeping the stairway clear of fire for them. At the bottom of the stairs Johnny faltered again only this time he went down on his knees. Chet patted Marco on the back and went to assist Johnny with the victim. Noticing that Johnny had a glazed look in his eyes and seemed to be breathing kind of funny Chet took the victim from his friend and headed out of the building with her. Marco shut off the hose and went to help Johnny who was still kneeling in the floor obviously out of it.
"Come on Johnny lets get out of here." Marco reached under Johnny's left arm and lifted him to his feet. Johnny looked over at Marco with a confused look on his face. "Can you walk Johnny?"
Johnny nodded at Marco and the two men started towards the door when Captain Stanley came running up to them. "Marco what's going on?"
"Johnny went down Cap. He doesn't seem to comprehend what he is doing. He seems out of it. He didn't hit his head or anything." Marco explained to his superior. Just as he finished telling Stanley about Johnny's actions his friend's knees buckled and he passed out. Captain Stanley immediately grabbed Johnny up in a fireman's carry and took him over to the squad. Gently placing him on the yellow blanket Roy had spread out for the victims Stanley reached for the oxygen from the engine that Mike Stoker had just brought over.
"Thanks Mike. Roy he's burning up. I could feel the heat through his turnouts."
"Okay Cap I've got him now. Rampart we have an additional victim, a code I, male 23 years old, possible smoke inhalation, he is unconscious at this time, vitals to follow."
"10-4 51 standing by," Dixie could be heard over the radio.
"Johnny can you hear me?" Roy asked his friend hoping Johnny would wake up for him all the while he was taking vitals. "Rampart patient is not responsive to voice stimuli. He does react to sternal rub." Roy continued to transmit the vitals and proceeded to administer the requested IV. He got the three victims packaged for transport. Finally as he was trying to decide how one paramedic could transport three victims that all had IV's another squad pulled up. "You take the two women in the first ambulance. They are both stable. I'll go in with Johnny." Once they were onboard the ambulance Roy started talking to his friend. "Junior, I'm really sorry about the whole thing with the saw. I know it is just a saw. You my friend are so much more important that any saw even if it did belong to my dad. He is gone and has been for a very long time, but you are still here. I can only hope that you will forgive me for being such a screw up. I never wanted to hurt you." He paused in his speech only long enough to check the IV and take a new set of vitals. "You have always been such a loyal friend to me and what do I do? I jump all over you for leaving my saw out in the rain." Roy chuckled. "I was right there and I didn't remember to grab the saw, but for some stupid reason I decided that it was your responsibility to take care of my stuff. Who do I think I am putting that responsibility on you? And who am I to take my upset out on you? All you did was try to help me. I didn't want to be responsible for ruining my dad's saw. I wanted someone else to be the one who left it out in the rain, but Johnny it was just as much me as it was you."
"Roy," Johnny whispered.
"Johnny?"
"Roy I'm sorry."
"It's okay Johnny really it' okay."
"I uh I don't feel so good."
"I know partner. I think you have a pretty high fever. You didn't dry off after you went home did you?"
"I …um…no."
"You didn't eat either did you Junior?"
"No."
"Did you eat Sunday?"
"No." Johnny turned away from Roy. He didn't want Roy to be mad at him again. "I couldn't…you…you were so mad…I thought you hated me. I screwed up your dad's saw. Roy I….I can never make that up to…to you."
"Johnny it is just a saw that belonged to him. It is not representative of him at all. It just holds memories for me that's all. You my friend are more important than memories. You are right here right now, and I am the one who screwed up. I almost lost the best friend I ever had because I acted so stupid."
"No Roy. You…my best..fr…friend." Johnny was losing his fight to stay awake. "R r r oy?"
"What is it Johnny?"
He did not get an answer. Johnny had slipped back into unconsciousness. The ambulance had reached Rampart and Roy could feel the customary turn and reverse of the rig as it pulled up to unload its precious cargo. The doors swung open and the attendants swiftly pulled the gurney out. Stepping along side the gurney as it was swiftly moved into a treatment room Roy assisted as his friend was moved onto the treatment table.
Dr. Kelly Brackett came into the room barking out questions and giving directions for treatment. "Dix I need a temp."
Dixie had already placed the thermometer under Johnny's tongue and Dr. Brackett smiled at his head ER nurse. She was always one step ahead of him. "Roy what exactly happened to him?"
"He uh took in some smoke at the fire. He was already weak and probably dehydrated.. He came in this morning feeling sick. We worked on my shed roof over the weekend and he got drenched in the rain on Saturday. We got into an argument and after that I am not sure until I saw him this morning. I think he must have been sick on Sunday. He said he didn't eat. I know by the looks of the circles under his eyes that he didn't get much sleep and it's all my fault."
"No Doc. It's my fault," Johnny whispered.
"Well I for one do not care whose fault it was or is. I just want to know what to look for here."
"His fever is 103.7 Kel."
"Okay that I understand. Let's start cooling measures. Dixie we'll add an antibiotic to the mix." Stepping over to the medicine cabinet he withdrew several vials looked them over and handed one to Dixie. "Give him this. And keep him on the oxygen. Start another bag of D5W as soon as he finished the one he is on. I want a chest x-ray and blood work. I'll be in my office." As he was about to leave the room he turned to the paramedics patted Johnny on the shoulder and looked Roy in the eyes. "We'll take good care of you Johnny. You and Roy can work out who is the biggest screw up later. Okay? First let's get you back on your feet.
Several hours later Johnny slept peacefully in his hospital bed while Roy who had also been relieved from duty sat by his bed. Captain Stanley thought that his two paramedics needed to make sure they had cleared the air so they could continue in their partnership. Roy needed to be there for his friend, and Johnny needed him to. These two men had somehow in the last year become not only partners but best friends, and Hank Stanley knew they both needed the friendship to survive through this latest disagreement, no matter who screwed up.
09/23/09
Johnny handed Roy the requested hammer and began stretching the tarp over the other section of roof. Roy finished with the hammer and hung it on his tool belt. Reaching for the tarp just as the downpour started. The two men scrambled down the ladders and grabbed for the tools they had been using. They both ran for the house. The rain was pelting down on the two men as they ran for the cover of the garage. Now drenched and out of breath the two friends looked back at the storm and laughed.
"Give me the skill saw Johnny. I'll put it away first then we can put the rest of the tools here on the workbench."
Johnny looked at Roy guiltily. "Uh, Roy I um. I'll be right back."
"Don't tell me you left it out there in…in that!" He glared at his friend. "That was my father's skill saw Johnny! Why would you just leave it out in the rain? It…it probably won't ever work right again. How could you do that?" Roy screamed at his friend. "How could you just leave it out there?"
Johnny stared at his friend open mouthed. He hesitated for only a second and then turned and walked back out into the downpour. Roy saw that his friend was going to pick up the saw which was still plugged into the extension cord, and to prevent him from possibly getting shocked from the cord in the wet rain he grabbed the cord and yanked it from the wall just as Johnny picked up the saw. A few seconds later Johnny walked back in the garage sat the saw down on the workbench, turned and walked back out into the rain. He never said a word to Roy, but the look in his eyes made it evident to Roy that he had really hurt his friend. It was after all just a saw, but it had been his father's saw. Of course Roy had not thought to grab the saw either, but Johnny had used it last. He should have known how important that particular saw was to Roy. He had told him that it had been his father's hadn't he? Roy's emotions ran from angry to upset at himself for yelling at his best friend, but he was mad. He was mad that his father's saw was probably ruined. He looked up as Johnny's white Land Rover disappeared down the street.
Roy used his air compressor to blow the water out of the saw. He carefully turned it one direction and then another until he was certain he had dried it out the best he could. He cleaned all the parts, took off the blade and laid it out on the workbench to finish drying. He hoped it would work again, but it would need to air dry for a while before he would know. After putting the other tools away he pulled off his wet shoes and went into the house through the door that led from the garage into the kitchen.
"Roy I have some sandwiches, chips and ice tea ready for you and Johnny on the table." Looking up from folding the clothes that she had just taken out of the dryer Joanne wrinkled her forehead in question. "Where's Johnny?"
"He uh got drenched. He went home." Roy did not actually lie to Joanne, but he also did not tell her the whole story. He still had very mixed emotions about what had happened. Not sure if he was angry at Johnny or himself for yelling at Johnny Roy was not ready to talk about it. "I think he decided to just head on home and eat there. We got the boards in place just before the rain hit. I might be able to get the shingles on tomorrow if it isn't raining."
"Okay well I hate Johnny didn't stay and eat. I fixed chocolate cake for desert. He loves chocolate cake. Well if he comes to help with the shingles tomorrow he can have some then."
"Yeah, but I think he may have plans tomorrow. He said something about chores, and we are back on shift Monday morning. I don't know if he will be over tomorrow." Roy felt like a kid who was trying to hide something from his mother. He and Joanne had promised to always be honest with each other, but he had not decided if he was right or wrong for the way he treated Johnny. He decided that he would tell Joanne later. Now he just wanted to eat. Sitting down at the table he could not help but look over at the plate of sandwiches that awaited his friend. He could not help but feel sad that Johnny was not there to enjoy his meal. Roy knew that Johnny was always borderline underweight when they had their physicals for the fire department. He knew that Johnny did not always eat well when he was at home by himself. Joanne had decided early on in their partnership that it was her duty to see that Johnny ate better and put on a few pounds. They had been partners for just over a year now. Johnny had become like part of the family. Why had he yelled at his friend over a stupid saw?
No it was not just a stupid saw. It was one of the few things Roy had that belonged to his father. He had worked very hard to take care of the treasured power tool. He would not be able to simply forget that his so called best friend and partner would leave such an important part of Roy's past lying out there in the grass in a storm. No he could not let that go. Not now and maybe not ever. Roy Desoto was angry. He was angry at Johnny. He did not remember ever being this upset with his friend. Johnny had really let him down this time. No getting around it. Johnny had screwed up.
Johnny drove home in a daze. He pulled his Rover into the apartment lot without even knowing how he got there. He put the car in park, secured the parking break, got out and walked very slowly to the stairs not even realizing that it was still pouring down rain. He was drenched to the bone. The rain was so hard that had he noticed he might have realized that truthfully he could barely see where he was walking. Slowly climbing the stairs he made his way to his apartment door. Leaning his head against the door frame he just stood in the hall for he did not know how long. Slowly he reached up, slipped the key into the deadbolt and let himself into the darkened room. Not even turning on the lights he sunk down on the couch, put his head in his hands and just sat very still for a long time trying to figure out why his best friend had gotten so angry at him over a saw.
To tell the truth Johnny knew that Roy loved that saw. He had shown it in great detail to Johnny many times over the past few months. Telling him how he and his father had gone to the hardware to pick out the saw together, and how Roy's father had let him be the first to use the saw. Roy had told Johnny how his dad used the saw to build the bookshelves that Roy needed for his bedroom. How he had built Roy's mother a coffee table and matching end tables using that saw. How could he have not remembered to get his friend's treasured saw? Why had he thought more about getting his sorry butt out of the rain than to remember something that meant so much to Roy, something that could not be replaced?
Having lost his own parents when he was a young teen, Johnny knew how important the simple things that brought back any memory of them were. Why was he so stupid sometimes? Why couldn't he not be such a screw up?
Sighing deeply Johnny leaned back on the couch and just sat there, still wet to the core, now shivering but not caring or even noticing. Night fall came and Johnny still sat there on the couch. Finally he got up to take care of some personal business in the restroom, and took off the already dried clothes. Stripping down to his boxer shorts he slid into the bed. He had not eaten since breakfast, but he just didn't care. He lay in the bed staring at the ceiling, but not sleeping, not caring, he was just numb.
After his parents died Johnny had not fit in anywhere. No one had wanted him until his aunt out here in California agreed to take him in. Sure as a half breed he had not truly fit in anywhere even on the reservation, but when his parent's were alive he had them and nothing else seemed to matter. Johnny adored his parents. Sure he loved his aunt, but it was not the same as it had been with his parents. They were special. Their love was special. Johnny had not felt completely comfortable around anyone since his parent's died until he met Roy and the guys at Station 51. Now he was not sure if they would want him around anymore. He was such a screw up. Nothing had really changed. When it came right down to it he just didn't seem to do anything right. He was always getting hurt on the job, and now he had let down the only really close friend he had ever had.
Sometime in the early morning hours Johnny finally fell into a fitful sleep. He never really got much rest that night. As soon as the first light of the day trickled into his bedroom he was once again awake. He didn't get up. He just laid there staring at the ceiling, still numb to the world. After a few minutes Johnny got up and half walked half stumbled to the restroom. Looking into the medicine chest mirror he saw the dark rings beneath his eyes. Staring at his reflection he felt saddened at the person he saw in his reflection. What a screw up he thought. Turning back to his bedroom Johnny walked over to the bed and crawled back under the covers. He stayed there all day, not eating, not drinking, not caring. He dozed on and off, but mostly he just lay there. At precisely 6 am Monday morning the alarm clock beside Johnny's bed starting ringing. Johnny sighed as he reached over and shut off the offending noise. He had not needed the alarm after all. He had not slept the night before. Now he felt bad. He was cold one minute and hot the next. He was achy and had no appetite. Slowly getting out of the bed Johnny headed into the shower. The hot water felt good on his achy muscles. He took a long shower then quickly dressed so he could get to the station on time. He did not want to screw up again by being late.
When he arrived at the station he swung his Rover into his usual parking spot. He had already dressed into his uniform at home, so he would not have to be in the locker room very long with Roy. He thought that Roy would probably still be upset with him.
"Hey Gage, you look kind of rough there friend." Chet Kelly would not pass up a chance to get one over on his pigeon. "Did you get dumped again?"
Johnny just looked over at Chet with a smirk, shook his head as he stored his extra uniforms, glanced over at his partner who had not said anything or even looked in Johnny's direction, and turned to leave the room.
"What's with him?"
"Leave him alone Chet."
Roy knew he needed to apologize to his friend. He had finally explained to Joanne what had happened on Saturday before Johnny left. She had wondered why he had not come back on Sunday to help finish the job. Johnny was always ready to help Roy on projects around the house in exchange for a home cooked meal. It was not like him to not help finish the projects they had started even if he did have other things that he needed to do. Joanne had helped Roy to see how silly it was to cherish a saw more than he cherished a friend. Thinking to himself that Johnny did not look well Roy got up to follow Johnny to the dayroom. "Hey Johnny hang on a minute."
Johnny actually heard Roy call out to him, but he didn't want to face him if he was still upset about the saw, so he kept walking straight over to the coffee pot. Grabbing a mug he quickly poured himself a cup of coffee, sat at the table and grabbed the sports section of the newspaper. Roy had come into the kitchen just as Johnny sat down and grabbed the paper. Mike Stoker and Marco Lopez were also sitting at the table reading the paper and enjoying some pastries that were set out in the middle of the table. Roy noticed that Johnny who was always the first to grab up one of the sweet treats sometimes brought in to the station, had not even looked in the direction of the food. In truth Johnny had seen the pastries, but the thought of eating any made him nauseas. The truth was he didn't feel well at all. He knew he was feverish, but did not want anyone else to notice, so he just pretended to be engrossed in the paper and sipped his coffee.
"Roll call in five," Captain Stanley announced as he strode over to the coffee pot. Glancing at his youngest crew member the Captain could tell he was not at 100 percent. He had dark circles under his normally bright eyes and his posture was slumped. He was still, too still. Johnny was usually bouncing off the walls. "John are you feeling all right?"
"Yes Cap. I'm feeling fine." Johnny answered his superior with a hint of his normally bright smile. He continued to look at the paper that he was not really reading. He just stared at the words on the page, but could not focus his watery eyes on the print. Blinking a few times to try to clear his vision, Johnny folded the paper, rinsed his coffee mug and walked towards the apparatus bay for roll call. Roy just stood leaning on the counter wondering if his friend were upset with him. Thinking to himself that he was the one that had the right to be angry, why was Johnny acting so like he was angry at him? Shrugging off the nagging suspicion that Johnny might be ill Roy followed the rest of his crewmates to the front of the engine for roll call.
The two partners usually stood side by side, but today Johnny stood on the other side of the group of men as far away from Roy as he could get. Everyone noticed, but no one said anything. After roll call Captain Stanley asked to see Johnny in his office. The two men walked into the office and Stanley closed the door, "Have a seat John."
Johnny sat on the edge of the chair, "What's up Cap?" He asked wondering what he had done to be called into the Captain's office with the door shut. "Um did I uh….did I do something wrong?"
No John you didn't do anything wrong. I just noticed that you don't really look well John. I don't want you to think that you can't use a vacation day or sick day when you need it."
"Thanks Cap, but I'll manage. I'm just a little tired today is all."
"Okay John, but you let me know if you feel that I need to call in a replacement. Okay?"
"Sure Cap, but I'll be fine." Johnny rose from his chair. "Can I go now?"
Captain Stanley nodded his head in agreement to Johnny leaving. "But you'll let me know if you feel worse?"
"Yes sir."
Knowing that he had the dorms to clean and beds to change Johnny stopped by the squad just as Roy shut the compartments. He had completed the morning check and inventory. "If you have that all finished and we don't need to make a supply run I'll be in the dorm."
"Johnny?" Roy wanted to talk to his friend to clear things up. "I…" Looking into Johnny's eyes Roy stopped himself from continuing. "I think we can pick up the supplies on our first run." Johnny lowered his gaze and turned towards the dorm. Roy didn't know why he stopped with his apology. He couldn't explain the vacancy he had seen in Johnny's usually expressive eyes. He felt worse about his actions Saturday, if that was possible. He just had to think of a way to clear up this mess. How had he let himself screw up so royally?
Johnny had thought for a second that Roy was going to apologize or scream at him again. He wasn't sure which, but he hadn't done either. Now thoroughly confused and feeling even worse than when he had arrived at the station he hoped they would have a quiet morning. Thinking he would strip the beds first, remake them and then tackle the floors Johnny headed for the Captain's bunk first.
Roy had to hang hoses with Marco so he headed out back to get started on that chore. Mike had kitchen duty and dayroom. Everyone liked it when Mike had kitchen duty, because he was one of the best cooks on the A-shift. He made the best fried chicken and spaghetti. Johnny especially loved it when Mike cooked, because there were usually leftovers; he always liked to snack. He would often get up in the middle of the night and eat cold chicken with a large glass of milk. Chet as was a common occurrence had latrine duty. Captain Stanley always had paperwork to complete and spent a lot of time at his desk doing just that.
The morning was quiet. The men had plenty of time to complete their respective chore assignments and slowly they had all ended up in the dayroom reading the paper or watching TV, everyone except for the Captain and Johnny. "Where's Gage?" Chet was the first to voice the question on everyone's mind.
"Guess he's still working on the dorm," Marco shrugged his shoulders as he answered Chet's question.
Not wanting to face his friend just yet Roy kept reading the paper acting as if he had not heard Chet ask.
"I think I'll check on him and let him know that lunch will be ready in about 15 minutes," Mike said as he left the kitchen. Mike thought as he strolled across the apparatus bay that his youngest crewmate did not look like he was feeling well this morning. He was glad that he had decided to make fried chicken for lunch, it was one of Johnny's favorites. Opening the door to the dorm he didn't immediately see his friend. Walking further into the room he noticed Johnny stretched out across his bunk. The other beds were made and the dirty laundry piled in the floor beside Johnny's bunk, but it looked like he was in the middle of making his own bed when he had lain down and fallen asleep. Mike chuckled at his friend. "Hey Johnny wake up buddy." He nudged his friend's foot.
"Huh…Wha?" Johnny stirred.
"Lunch in 15."
"Okay Mike I'll be there in a minute. I just have to finish up here." He said as he rubbed his hands across his face trying to wake up. "Man I can't believe I fell asleep."
"You look like you didn't sleep at all this past weekend. What's going on with you Johnny?"
"I uh did somethin'," Johnny paused and rubbed his face again. "Roy he…oh nothin', it's not important."
"Johnny if it has you this worked up it must be important. Why don't you talk to him about it?"
"I can't Mike, he….I think he's still mad. I really messed up." Johnny finished making the bed and grabbed the dirty linens. He quickly put them in the laundry bin. "Look Mike I'll take care of it. Don't worry about it. I've survived a long time on my own. I gotta get this floor done before we get toned out. I don't need Cap mad at me too for not finishing this up."
"Okay Johnny, but if you change your mind and need someone to talk to I'll be around okay?"
"Okay thanks Mike."
Mike left the dorm with a new resolve to find out what was wrong between Johnny and Roy. What ever it was had Johnny very upset and it was taking its toll on him. Johnny had clearly made himself sick over what ever had happened. Stopping by Captain Stanley's office Mike told him lunch would be in about 10 minutes. He then returned to the kitchen to finish getting the meal on the table.
"Did you find Gage?" Chet asked.
"Yeah he's coming."
A short time later all six members of the A-shift took their places around the table each reaching for the food Mike had spread out in the middle. Mike smiled as he saw how happy his friends were with his lunch, but he noticed that Johnny only got one piece of chicken. Thinking to himself that Johnny usually had at least three to get started, Mike's worry about his friend greatly increased. He decided to himself that he would be sure to put some up for Johnny for later when he felt better.
"Hey Gage pass the potatoes," Chet held out his hand expectantly, but Johnny kept his head down and shifted the food around on his plate not really eating. "Earth to Gage!"
"John are you with us?" Captain Stanley was getting more concerned over the health of his crewman.
"Yes sir. Here Chet. Excuse me, I'll be outside." Johnny stood and moved toward the sink to clear his plate.
"Johnny can I have a word with you?" Roy said to his friend.
Johnny brushed by Roy and left the room.
"Roy what is going on with John?" Captain Stanley asked.
"We had a disagreement Saturday Cap, but I'll go straighten everything out." Roy moved to go find his friend when the tones went off calling the station to an office building fire. Climbing into the squad the two paramedics set aside any upset they might have with each other to handle the call. Their personal issues would have to wait.
Station 51 was the first to arrive on the scene putting Captain Stanley in charge. "Chet you and Marco get a line on the front. Roy you and Johnny get your gear in case we need to make a sweep. I'll see if I can find someone who knows if everyone is out. You two be ready."
"Okay Cap." The two paramedics made short work of getting their turnouts and air masks on. Captain Stanley came running back towards them.
"Two missing women from the third floor last office on the right. Make it fast this thing is really hot."
The two paramedics ran into the flaming building as Chet and Marco followed them in to make sure they had a path to the stairs. The additional stations began arriving and Captain Stanley expertly directed their actions towards fighting the fire that was quickly consuming the office building. Johnny and Roy moved quickly towards the office that they had been instructed to search. Johnny tapped Roy on the shoulder and indicated that he would search to the right which meant Roy would go left. Roy nodded his agreement. A few minutes later Johnny yelled to Roy, "I've got them Roy. Over here!"
Roy moved to his partner's side and pulled one of the women into a fireman's carry. Johnny had his mask off and over the face of the second victim. "I'm right behind you partner," Johnny said as he waved his hand towards the door telling Roy to go ahead. Roy paused long enough to see Johnny pull the woman over his shoulders. Roy thought he saw Johnny sway a little as if he were light headed, but then Johnny began moving in his direction. Roy turned and led the way out of the deteriorating structure. As they came down the stairs the two men met with Chet and Marco who were still keeping the stairway clear of fire for them. At the bottom of the stairs Johnny faltered again only this time he went down on his knees. Chet patted Marco on the back and went to assist Johnny with the victim. Noticing that Johnny had a glazed look in his eyes and seemed to be breathing kind of funny Chet took the victim from his friend and headed out of the building with her. Marco shut off the hose and went to help Johnny who was still kneeling in the floor obviously out of it.
"Come on Johnny lets get out of here." Marco reached under Johnny's left arm and lifted him to his feet. Johnny looked over at Marco with a confused look on his face. "Can you walk Johnny?"
Johnny nodded at Marco and the two men started towards the door when Captain Stanley came running up to them. "Marco what's going on?"
"Johnny went down Cap. He doesn't seem to comprehend what he is doing. He seems out of it. He didn't hit his head or anything." Marco explained to his superior. Just as he finished telling Stanley about Johnny's actions his friend's knees buckled and he passed out. Captain Stanley immediately grabbed Johnny up in a fireman's carry and took him over to the squad. Gently placing him on the yellow blanket Roy had spread out for the victims Stanley reached for the oxygen from the engine that Mike Stoker had just brought over.
"Thanks Mike. Roy he's burning up. I could feel the heat through his turnouts."
"Okay Cap I've got him now. Rampart we have an additional victim, a code I, male 23 years old, possible smoke inhalation, he is unconscious at this time, vitals to follow."
"10-4 51 standing by," Dixie could be heard over the radio.
"Johnny can you hear me?" Roy asked his friend hoping Johnny would wake up for him all the while he was taking vitals. "Rampart patient is not responsive to voice stimuli. He does react to sternal rub." Roy continued to transmit the vitals and proceeded to administer the requested IV. He got the three victims packaged for transport. Finally as he was trying to decide how one paramedic could transport three victims that all had IV's another squad pulled up. "You take the two women in the first ambulance. They are both stable. I'll go in with Johnny." Once they were onboard the ambulance Roy started talking to his friend. "Junior, I'm really sorry about the whole thing with the saw. I know it is just a saw. You my friend are so much more important that any saw even if it did belong to my dad. He is gone and has been for a very long time, but you are still here. I can only hope that you will forgive me for being such a screw up. I never wanted to hurt you." He paused in his speech only long enough to check the IV and take a new set of vitals. "You have always been such a loyal friend to me and what do I do? I jump all over you for leaving my saw out in the rain." Roy chuckled. "I was right there and I didn't remember to grab the saw, but for some stupid reason I decided that it was your responsibility to take care of my stuff. Who do I think I am putting that responsibility on you? And who am I to take my upset out on you? All you did was try to help me. I didn't want to be responsible for ruining my dad's saw. I wanted someone else to be the one who left it out in the rain, but Johnny it was just as much me as it was you."
"Roy," Johnny whispered.
"Johnny?"
"Roy I'm sorry."
"It's okay Johnny really it' okay."
"I uh I don't feel so good."
"I know partner. I think you have a pretty high fever. You didn't dry off after you went home did you?"
"I …um…no."
"You didn't eat either did you Junior?"
"No."
"Did you eat Sunday?"
"No." Johnny turned away from Roy. He didn't want Roy to be mad at him again. "I couldn't…you…you were so mad…I thought you hated me. I screwed up your dad's saw. Roy I….I can never make that up to…to you."
"Johnny it is just a saw that belonged to him. It is not representative of him at all. It just holds memories for me that's all. You my friend are more important than memories. You are right here right now, and I am the one who screwed up. I almost lost the best friend I ever had because I acted so stupid."
"No Roy. You…my best..fr…friend." Johnny was losing his fight to stay awake. "R r r oy?"
"What is it Johnny?"
He did not get an answer. Johnny had slipped back into unconsciousness. The ambulance had reached Rampart and Roy could feel the customary turn and reverse of the rig as it pulled up to unload its precious cargo. The doors swung open and the attendants swiftly pulled the gurney out. Stepping along side the gurney as it was swiftly moved into a treatment room Roy assisted as his friend was moved onto the treatment table.
Dr. Kelly Brackett came into the room barking out questions and giving directions for treatment. "Dix I need a temp."
Dixie had already placed the thermometer under Johnny's tongue and Dr. Brackett smiled at his head ER nurse. She was always one step ahead of him. "Roy what exactly happened to him?"
"He uh took in some smoke at the fire. He was already weak and probably dehydrated.. He came in this morning feeling sick. We worked on my shed roof over the weekend and he got drenched in the rain on Saturday. We got into an argument and after that I am not sure until I saw him this morning. I think he must have been sick on Sunday. He said he didn't eat. I know by the looks of the circles under his eyes that he didn't get much sleep and it's all my fault."
"No Doc. It's my fault," Johnny whispered.
"Well I for one do not care whose fault it was or is. I just want to know what to look for here."
"His fever is 103.7 Kel."
"Okay that I understand. Let's start cooling measures. Dixie we'll add an antibiotic to the mix." Stepping over to the medicine cabinet he withdrew several vials looked them over and handed one to Dixie. "Give him this. And keep him on the oxygen. Start another bag of D5W as soon as he finished the one he is on. I want a chest x-ray and blood work. I'll be in my office." As he was about to leave the room he turned to the paramedics patted Johnny on the shoulder and looked Roy in the eyes. "We'll take good care of you Johnny. You and Roy can work out who is the biggest screw up later. Okay? First let's get you back on your feet.
Several hours later Johnny slept peacefully in his hospital bed while Roy who had also been relieved from duty sat by his bed. Captain Stanley thought that his two paramedics needed to make sure they had cleared the air so they could continue in their partnership. Roy needed to be there for his friend, and Johnny needed him to. These two men had somehow in the last year become not only partners but best friends, and Hank Stanley knew they both needed the friendship to survive through this latest disagreement, no matter who screwed up.
09/23/09