The Let Down
Chapter One
by GCS
"As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will." -unknown
Weary
men stumbled from their seats and across the bay floors to the locker
room. It was still dark outside and they hoped for at least a few hours
of sleep. They smelled of smoke and ash, but none really cared. That was
normal for them.
Turnout coats still swung lightly from the doors they were draped from. A door on one of the squad compartments still stood open while the coat hung haphazardly inside.
A shuffling of tired feet made their way into the dorm and boots and turnouts were shed and positioned at the foot of the bunks. The men slid beneath the rumpled covers and dropped off to sleep before their head hit the pillows. Exhaustion outweighed the need to shower away the grime.
An eerie quiet filled the station until soft snores began to drift from each bunk…save one.
Roy Desoto, paramedic extraordinaire according to his colleagues, had failed miserably at relationships in the last twenty four hours. First with his wife then with his best friend and right now those things kept the exhausted man awake and staring at the ceiling of the dorm room.
Images of the last day rambled around in his mind like Joanne crying that morning after he'd lost his temper with her about his pending promotion to Engineer. 'Why can't she understand why I'm having second thoughts?... Because you jerk…she is the one trying to juggle the budget. The kids need new shoes. The car needs work. We need tires. That's why.'
He turned over toward the brick wall so his back was to his partner; jabbed at his pillow a few times before dropping his head onto the fluffed ball. 'Then there's the question about you Johnny. Why are you being so damn encouraging?' He thought back to the harsh words he'd spout out to Johnny after he had wished him a good morning in threes, as was Johnny's way, and then asked the simple question of had he heard from headquarters about when he would get the official promotion. 'Why couldn't I have just answered him? No instead I had to bark at him about minding his own business; told him to stop whining about my leaving him, and then to top it off… asked him if he was worried about doing the job on his own without my help. What the hell was I thinking?' He rubbed the palm of his hand over his eyes and punched the pillow again. 'You're a jerk Desoto...a real jerk.'
The clock on the wall ticked loudly as the seconds crept by one by one.
The seconds became minutes and still Roy's mind kept him from the sleep his tired body needed.
The minutes became an hour…two…
And then the morning tones rang out jerking the men from their quiet slumber.
All except Roy who had given up about an hour ago and tip toed through the dorm, across the bay, and into the kitchen where he now sat with a cup of cold coffee between his hands. He was already showered, shaved and in uniform.
"You're up early." Cap said as he crossed the dayroom to the coffee pot. "Too tired to sleep?" He turned back to his senior paramedic, leaned against the cabinet and lifted the steaming cup to his lips.
"I guess." Roy said softly.
Cap glanced up at his junior paramedic who had stopped in the door. Johnny lowered his gaze and retreated into the bay.
"Move over Gage! Some of us want coffee." Chet grumbled as he pushed past the tall thin man and into the kitchen. "Mornin' Roy."
Roy didn't respond or raise his eyes as he slid his chair back and placed the mug in the sink before leaving the room.
"What's eatin' him?" Chet asked Cap as he poured himself a mug of coffee.
"Leave it alone Chet." Cap ordered as he pushed off the counter and held his half empty cup out to the lineman for a refill before leaving the kitchen. He didn't know what was eating Roy, but the last thing anyone needed if they had a lot on their mind was Chet Kelly needling them about it.
Chet turned around and leaned against the counter and then glanced back to the door leading to the bay. After a few minutes he realized Johnny had not come back for coffee. Making a quick decision he turned back to the pot and grabbed another mug; then with two mugs in hand he set out to find his pigeon.
Mike passed Chet on his way around the table. His hair was damp and he was dressed for the day. "Marco's in the shower now." Mike explained as though he thought Chet was headed to find Marco with the extra cup of coffee.
"Uh…oh…okay." He didn't let on that he was actually looking for Johnny. He just kept going. "Thanks."
Mike looked at him with a tilted head and a curious look. "Sure." When Chet kept on going Mike shrugged his shoulders in confusion and continued on his own journey toward the coffee pot.
When he entered the bay Chet saw Roy over by the front of the Squad. "Roy, did you see where Gage went?"
Roy looked up from polishing the hood of the squad. "It's not my day to keep watch over my partner." He barked out. Chet stared at him, stunned at the venom in his voice. If Roy was this upset with Johnny then Johnny must have done something to cause it. Chet shrugged and walked away. He still needed to find Johnny. He didn't see Roy toss the polishing rag on the hood and lower his head onto his folded arms. He didn't know Roy was counting to 10 very slowly. Roy knew he didn't have good cause to be so upset with Johnny, but for some reason being mad at Johnny was helping take his mind off of his other problems.
Turnout coats still swung lightly from the doors they were draped from. A door on one of the squad compartments still stood open while the coat hung haphazardly inside.
A shuffling of tired feet made their way into the dorm and boots and turnouts were shed and positioned at the foot of the bunks. The men slid beneath the rumpled covers and dropped off to sleep before their head hit the pillows. Exhaustion outweighed the need to shower away the grime.
An eerie quiet filled the station until soft snores began to drift from each bunk…save one.
Roy Desoto, paramedic extraordinaire according to his colleagues, had failed miserably at relationships in the last twenty four hours. First with his wife then with his best friend and right now those things kept the exhausted man awake and staring at the ceiling of the dorm room.
Images of the last day rambled around in his mind like Joanne crying that morning after he'd lost his temper with her about his pending promotion to Engineer. 'Why can't she understand why I'm having second thoughts?... Because you jerk…she is the one trying to juggle the budget. The kids need new shoes. The car needs work. We need tires. That's why.'
He turned over toward the brick wall so his back was to his partner; jabbed at his pillow a few times before dropping his head onto the fluffed ball. 'Then there's the question about you Johnny. Why are you being so damn encouraging?' He thought back to the harsh words he'd spout out to Johnny after he had wished him a good morning in threes, as was Johnny's way, and then asked the simple question of had he heard from headquarters about when he would get the official promotion. 'Why couldn't I have just answered him? No instead I had to bark at him about minding his own business; told him to stop whining about my leaving him, and then to top it off… asked him if he was worried about doing the job on his own without my help. What the hell was I thinking?' He rubbed the palm of his hand over his eyes and punched the pillow again. 'You're a jerk Desoto...a real jerk.'
The clock on the wall ticked loudly as the seconds crept by one by one.
The seconds became minutes and still Roy's mind kept him from the sleep his tired body needed.
The minutes became an hour…two…
And then the morning tones rang out jerking the men from their quiet slumber.
All except Roy who had given up about an hour ago and tip toed through the dorm, across the bay, and into the kitchen where he now sat with a cup of cold coffee between his hands. He was already showered, shaved and in uniform.
"You're up early." Cap said as he crossed the dayroom to the coffee pot. "Too tired to sleep?" He turned back to his senior paramedic, leaned against the cabinet and lifted the steaming cup to his lips.
"I guess." Roy said softly.
Cap glanced up at his junior paramedic who had stopped in the door. Johnny lowered his gaze and retreated into the bay.
"Move over Gage! Some of us want coffee." Chet grumbled as he pushed past the tall thin man and into the kitchen. "Mornin' Roy."
Roy didn't respond or raise his eyes as he slid his chair back and placed the mug in the sink before leaving the room.
"What's eatin' him?" Chet asked Cap as he poured himself a mug of coffee.
"Leave it alone Chet." Cap ordered as he pushed off the counter and held his half empty cup out to the lineman for a refill before leaving the kitchen. He didn't know what was eating Roy, but the last thing anyone needed if they had a lot on their mind was Chet Kelly needling them about it.
Chet turned around and leaned against the counter and then glanced back to the door leading to the bay. After a few minutes he realized Johnny had not come back for coffee. Making a quick decision he turned back to the pot and grabbed another mug; then with two mugs in hand he set out to find his pigeon.
Mike passed Chet on his way around the table. His hair was damp and he was dressed for the day. "Marco's in the shower now." Mike explained as though he thought Chet was headed to find Marco with the extra cup of coffee.
"Uh…oh…okay." He didn't let on that he was actually looking for Johnny. He just kept going. "Thanks."
Mike looked at him with a tilted head and a curious look. "Sure." When Chet kept on going Mike shrugged his shoulders in confusion and continued on his own journey toward the coffee pot.
When he entered the bay Chet saw Roy over by the front of the Squad. "Roy, did you see where Gage went?"
Roy looked up from polishing the hood of the squad. "It's not my day to keep watch over my partner." He barked out. Chet stared at him, stunned at the venom in his voice. If Roy was this upset with Johnny then Johnny must have done something to cause it. Chet shrugged and walked away. He still needed to find Johnny. He didn't see Roy toss the polishing rag on the hood and lower his head onto his folded arms. He didn't know Roy was counting to 10 very slowly. Roy knew he didn't have good cause to be so upset with Johnny, but for some reason being mad at Johnny was helping take his mind off of his other problems.
Chapter Two
Chet pushed open the door to the locker room and found Johnny perched in his locker with his feet on the bench, elbows on his knees and his chin resting in his palms. He stood and waited for Johnny to recognize his presence, but when that didn't happen he walked over. "Here." He pushed the extra mug of coffee against the back of Johnny's hand.
Johnny jerked back as though he hadn't heard Chet come in the room. "What the…" He practically crawled up into his locker. He relaxed a bit after realizing it was only Chet. He ran his hand though his hair and took a deep breath returning to his original position.
"What has gotten into you guys?" Chet asked as he handed the mug to the much calmer paramedic.
"What are you talkin' about? You snuck in here and nearly gave me a heart attack." Johnny took the mug. "Thanks."
"Whatever Gage. Your partner's out there polishing the squad by himself and you're in here sulking in your locker. What gives?"
"Sulking! I am NOT sulking! I'm waiting on Marco to finish his shower. Roy's already had his shower. I need to get mine before we get… well you know." He waved his hand in the air in explanation.
"Sure, sure…and that's why you didn't get a cup of coffee when you came to the kitchen. Right?" He continued pushing. A stranger could see the sadness in Johnny's easy-to-read eyes. There was definitely a problem. Chet just didn't know what it was, but he planned to do all he could to find out.
Johnny looked over at Chet with a raised eyebrow. He knew Chet had seen him in the bay. "Since when is it a crime for a guy to want to clean up before he has his morning coffee?"
Chet shrugged. "I don't know man, but you two are acting strange…really strange."
"You're crazy." Johnny dropped his feet to the floor, turned to his locker sitting the coffee mug inside, and pulled his t-shirt over his head tossing it to the back. "Now if you don't mind. I'm going to get my shower now."
Chet felt as if he needed to get out of Johnny's way. The man was either really pissed or really upset. It was a toss up, but the eyes read upset while the body language read irritated…highly irritated.
Just as he was about to ask another question, the door to the shower clicked open and Marco reached out for his towel. "It's all yours Johnny." He said as he stepped out with his towel around his waist.
Johnny stepped from his turnout pants and grabbed his towel before skirting around Chet on his way to the shower.
"Hey Marco," Chet turned toward the Hispanic man. "Do you know what's going on with Gage and Desoto?"
Marco looked over at his best friend and smiled. "What are you up to this time Chet?"
Chet smiled at Marco and laughed. "I'm not up to anything. Those two are acting weird…really weird."
Marco laughed too. "Since when are you NOT up to something?"
"Listen Marco, I'm serious. There is something wrong. Those two are barely talking and Gage is avoiding Desoto. Just a few minutes ago I saw him not get coffee because Roy was already in the kitchen. Since when does Gage not get coffee as soon as he gets out of his bunk?" He tilted his head and raised his eyebrows in question.
Marco scratched the back of his head. "Maybe you're right." He finished buttoning his shirt and pinned his badge on the chest before turning back to Chet. "I think you need to leave the Phantom out of this one."
"Aw come on man."
"No really, Chet, Roy's getting promoted any day now. Johnny will have a new partner. They are both on edge…really on edge." He wanted to stress the importance of keeping the Phantom quiet so he repeated how on edge just as Chet had repeated really weird. Sometimes he had to talk like Chet for Chet to understand. Other times he just mumbled in Spanish when he couldn't get Chet to listen. Then Chet would always want to know what he had said. He was totally prepared to do that now if he needed to.
"I know that Marco. The Phantom wouldn't do anything to them when they're down." Chet drained the last of his coffee. "I just don't want to miss an opportunity if the ice needs breaking. You know." He grinned.
Marco smiled. "Yeah…yeah I know." The two friends left the locker room and headed for the kitchen for more coffee for Chet and a first cup for Marco.
Johnny leaned his head against the cool tile in the shower and let the hot spray pour over his tense muscles. He wanted to continue to be supportive of his best friend, but truthfully Roy's words had cut him straight to the core.
Stepping back and turning his face to the water to wash away the traces of soot and grime he remembered those words. "Are you worried that you can't do the job without my help? Are you afraid they'll partner you with a paramedic fresh from training that might know more than you? Or that you will need to teach them?" Roy had stepped right up to him and into his personal space. He had taken a step back, but Roy followed him staying right in his face. With each word Roy's voice rose and his face grew redder. "Why are you acting like this is what you want me to do when we both know you don't? Stop your whining Gage! This is not about you. Mind your own damn business." They stared into each other's eyes for a few seconds…nostrils flaring and fists clenching before Roy quickly broke the stare and stepped back. He then turned and slammed his locker. He quickly stormed out of the locker room leaving Johnny standing there in shock wondering what had just happened, and they had avoided each other for the rest of the day.
As the water began to cool, Johnny shuddered not at the temperature but at the thought that maybe he was worried about doing the job without Roy. Oh he knew he was capable. He'd done it many times over the past few years while Roy was out on vacation or laid up with an injury. But those times he always knew Roy would be back. Those times it was temporary. This was it…this was forever.
Johnny jerked back as though he hadn't heard Chet come in the room. "What the…" He practically crawled up into his locker. He relaxed a bit after realizing it was only Chet. He ran his hand though his hair and took a deep breath returning to his original position.
"What has gotten into you guys?" Chet asked as he handed the mug to the much calmer paramedic.
"What are you talkin' about? You snuck in here and nearly gave me a heart attack." Johnny took the mug. "Thanks."
"Whatever Gage. Your partner's out there polishing the squad by himself and you're in here sulking in your locker. What gives?"
"Sulking! I am NOT sulking! I'm waiting on Marco to finish his shower. Roy's already had his shower. I need to get mine before we get… well you know." He waved his hand in the air in explanation.
"Sure, sure…and that's why you didn't get a cup of coffee when you came to the kitchen. Right?" He continued pushing. A stranger could see the sadness in Johnny's easy-to-read eyes. There was definitely a problem. Chet just didn't know what it was, but he planned to do all he could to find out.
Johnny looked over at Chet with a raised eyebrow. He knew Chet had seen him in the bay. "Since when is it a crime for a guy to want to clean up before he has his morning coffee?"
Chet shrugged. "I don't know man, but you two are acting strange…really strange."
"You're crazy." Johnny dropped his feet to the floor, turned to his locker sitting the coffee mug inside, and pulled his t-shirt over his head tossing it to the back. "Now if you don't mind. I'm going to get my shower now."
Chet felt as if he needed to get out of Johnny's way. The man was either really pissed or really upset. It was a toss up, but the eyes read upset while the body language read irritated…highly irritated.
Just as he was about to ask another question, the door to the shower clicked open and Marco reached out for his towel. "It's all yours Johnny." He said as he stepped out with his towel around his waist.
Johnny stepped from his turnout pants and grabbed his towel before skirting around Chet on his way to the shower.
"Hey Marco," Chet turned toward the Hispanic man. "Do you know what's going on with Gage and Desoto?"
Marco looked over at his best friend and smiled. "What are you up to this time Chet?"
Chet smiled at Marco and laughed. "I'm not up to anything. Those two are acting weird…really weird."
Marco laughed too. "Since when are you NOT up to something?"
"Listen Marco, I'm serious. There is something wrong. Those two are barely talking and Gage is avoiding Desoto. Just a few minutes ago I saw him not get coffee because Roy was already in the kitchen. Since when does Gage not get coffee as soon as he gets out of his bunk?" He tilted his head and raised his eyebrows in question.
Marco scratched the back of his head. "Maybe you're right." He finished buttoning his shirt and pinned his badge on the chest before turning back to Chet. "I think you need to leave the Phantom out of this one."
"Aw come on man."
"No really, Chet, Roy's getting promoted any day now. Johnny will have a new partner. They are both on edge…really on edge." He wanted to stress the importance of keeping the Phantom quiet so he repeated how on edge just as Chet had repeated really weird. Sometimes he had to talk like Chet for Chet to understand. Other times he just mumbled in Spanish when he couldn't get Chet to listen. Then Chet would always want to know what he had said. He was totally prepared to do that now if he needed to.
"I know that Marco. The Phantom wouldn't do anything to them when they're down." Chet drained the last of his coffee. "I just don't want to miss an opportunity if the ice needs breaking. You know." He grinned.
Marco smiled. "Yeah…yeah I know." The two friends left the locker room and headed for the kitchen for more coffee for Chet and a first cup for Marco.
Johnny leaned his head against the cool tile in the shower and let the hot spray pour over his tense muscles. He wanted to continue to be supportive of his best friend, but truthfully Roy's words had cut him straight to the core.
Stepping back and turning his face to the water to wash away the traces of soot and grime he remembered those words. "Are you worried that you can't do the job without my help? Are you afraid they'll partner you with a paramedic fresh from training that might know more than you? Or that you will need to teach them?" Roy had stepped right up to him and into his personal space. He had taken a step back, but Roy followed him staying right in his face. With each word Roy's voice rose and his face grew redder. "Why are you acting like this is what you want me to do when we both know you don't? Stop your whining Gage! This is not about you. Mind your own damn business." They stared into each other's eyes for a few seconds…nostrils flaring and fists clenching before Roy quickly broke the stare and stepped back. He then turned and slammed his locker. He quickly stormed out of the locker room leaving Johnny standing there in shock wondering what had just happened, and they had avoided each other for the rest of the day.
As the water began to cool, Johnny shuddered not at the temperature but at the thought that maybe he was worried about doing the job without Roy. Oh he knew he was capable. He'd done it many times over the past few years while Roy was out on vacation or laid up with an injury. But those times he always knew Roy would be back. Those times it was temporary. This was it…this was forever.
Chapter Three
Johnny turned off the water, but remained standing in the shower stall dripping. With the water sliding down his body flowed the momentary feelings of doubt. As the cool air dried his skin he felt the heat of his own anger welling up.
'I performed the first act in the field as a paramedic.'He balled up his fist and hit it against the tiled wall.
'I graduated at the top of the class with Brackett as the lead instructor, and he's a hard ass.'He slammed his fist against the wall again feeling the sting.
'I've trained as many boots as he has and done it successfully. He's only the senior man, because he's been a firefighter longer.'He opened his fist and shook off the pain that radiated up his arm realizing he didn't need to do anything stupid that would get him in trouble. Breaking his hand or the tiles wouldn't be a good idea.
'We became paramedics at the same time.'He ran his hand through his wet hair and scrubbed his palms on his face; then he sucked in a deep breath and blew it out again.
'What makes him think he's better than me? Let him go. I'm over it.' He reached for the shower door, threw it open and grabbed his towel.
Meanwhile out in the bay Roy had returned to his task of polishing the already shining Squad.
Captain Stanley looked up from the folder on his desk and saw Roy just outside the door. "Roy, see you in my office," He called to the paramedic.
Roy stopped polishing and tucked the cloth into one of the compartments before moving to join his captain in the office. "Yes sir."
"Have a seat."
Roy sat on the edge of the chair. He had no idea why he was called into the office unless Cap had heard Johnny's and his exchange of words the day before. He felt like a kid called to the principal's office. It never occurred to him that if he were in serious trouble Cap would have told him to close the door. He was too wrapped up in his own troubled thoughts to notice. He sat completely still waiting for the tongue lashing he knew he deserved.
Cap turned from the desk and looked at him. "Relax pal. I just have some forms for you to fill out in preparation for your promotion to engineer. It looks like that may be in the next few shifts…a month tops." He held out a folder of papers.
Roy reached for the folder with a shaky hand. "Next few shifts?" He said without thinking.
"That's right, you'll have you own rig in no time." Cap smiled.
"Thanks Cap, I'll get these filled out and back to you." Roy moved to stand.
"Listen Roy, I wanted to let you know how much we're all going to miss you around here. It's been a pleasure." Cap stood and extended his hand. "I know that Johnny will work well with whoever they send to replace you, but it goes without saying that the way the two of you work together has been an inspiration to the other teams in the department."
Roy took the offered hand and shook it. "Thanks. I…" He looked down at the floor. "I'm gonna miss it here. I…um I'll just go fill these out."
"Shift is almost over. Why don't you just take them home and bring them back next shift. They're really a formality anyway. The department has your information on file." Captain Stanley patted the paramedic on the back."Let's get some more coffee. I'm sure Johnny is wondering where his partner is."
Cap didn't see the frown that crossed Roy's face.
As Roy and Cap stepped into the bay Johnny came around the back of the engine. He hesitated for a second before proceeding across the bay whistling a happy tune. 'I'll be damned if I let him ruin a perfectly good day.' All three men reached the kitchen door at the same time. "Age before beauty." He teased as he waved the two others ahead.
"Watch it Gage." Captain Stanley smiled. "Roy may be leaving, but you're still stuck on my shift." He chuckled.
Roy and Johnny's eyes met for a split second before both averted them.
"That's alright Cap. Maybe I won't be the youngest guy on this shift anymore. It might be nice to be Senior Paramedic for a change."
Roy put the folder down on the table with a little more force than he meant to use. "Well John you never know. Your new partner may be a more mature man like your former partner."
The other three crew members seated at the table reading the paper looked up at the exchange of words and use of Johnny's given name. Roy called him Johnny or Junior, but rarely John unless Johnny was injured or Roy was angry.
"More mature huh?" Johnny stopped in mid pour. "That wouldn't be so bad. Hopefully he'll be single so we'll have something to talk about." He finished filling his cup and out of habit grabbed for another before stopping himself and putting the pot back on the burner. "We could even double date from time to time."
Chet elbowed Marco. "See what I mean." He whispered. Marco nodded.
Mike raised the paper back up and pretended to read while looking over the top at the two best friends. Something was terribly wrong and he figured it had to do with Roy's recent behavior. The thing that had the engineer worried was how it would affect their next few shifts until Roy moved to another station. The last thing they needed was for some of their crew to not have their head in the game. That could prove dangerous to them all.
"Or you could end up with Brice." Roy teased.
"Nah….Bob and him are made for each other." Johnny smiled and then sipped his coffee. "But I hope whoever it is likes to bowl. We could use another decent bowler on our team." With that last jab he turned and walked toward the door.
"Where are you going, Gage?" Chet asked.
Johnny stopped and looked over at the lineman. "What's it to ya?"
Chet shrugged. "Just wonderin'. I mean we're all here. I thought maybe Cap might want to talk to us or somethin'."
Johnny looked at Cap. "You need me?"
"No." Cap looked at Chet with a raised eyebrow.
Chet shrugged again. "Well I just thought…"
"Kelly if you get any weirder…." Johnny laughed as he disappeared into the bay.
Roy slid into a chair and pulled the folder closer. Sparring with Johnny was the last thing he wanted to do, but he knew he had brought this all on himself. He just didn't know how to fix it. He had to take the promotion…didn't he? He'd passed the test. He'd even done well on it. He flipped open the folder and looked at the papers inside. His career as a paramedic was fast nearing an end, and he felt like he was gonna be sick.
Captain Stanley took his coffee back to his office. Chet and Marco had moved to the dayroom to watch the morning news leaving only Mike and Roy at the table. Mike continued watching Roy over the top of the strategically placed newspaper.
"It's a lot to take in." Mike said as he lowered the paper to the table.
Roy didn't respond at first. It was as if his hearing was delayed. When it registered that Mike was talking to him he looked up. "Huh?"
Mike smiled and pointed at the folder. "A lot to take in."
Roy's eyes returned to the paper he held in his hand. "Yeah."
"Did Cap tell you when it might happen?"
"Few weeks or a month." Roy said with little enthusiasm.
"Wow...that soon?"
"That soon." Roy returned the papers to the folder and closed it.
"Listen Roy, I know you will make a wonderful Engineer. You don't do anything half way, but do you mind if I ask you a question?" Mike leaned forward and crossed his arms on the table.
Roy turned in his chair to face Mike. "Sure go ahead."
Always very direct, Mike simply asked what was on everyone's mind. "Is there a problem between you and Johnny?"
"No...no problem." Roy didn't usually lie, but he was hesitant to admit that he thought he had hurt Johnny's feelings. It wasn't very manly to discuss emotions. "Why do you ask?"
Mike chuckled. "Why do I ask?" He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms across his chest. Over in the dayroom Chet and Marco turned to listen to the exchange. "Maybe because you were in his face yesterday and this morning the two of you bickered like a married couple."
"Humph." Roy huffed. "Funny Stoker."
"No Roy, it's not funny. It's disturbing to the rest of us." Mike's voice rose. "You guys need to work out whatever it is that's going on. Your crew has to depend on the two of you to have our backs and each others. When you take over an engine you can't be distracted. The entire scene depends on the skills of the engineer and the Captain. If your head isn't in the game then we all lose."
Roy's anger began to resurface. He knew Mike was right, but he was too strung out on emotion to realize or admit it. "What the hell are you trying to say Stoker?" He rose from the chair.
Mike rose as well. "What I'm saying Desoto is that if you are not completely sure that this promotion is what you want then you need to give us all a break and turn it down."
Captain Stanley heard the commotion. He was surprised to hear Mike's voice as a part of the near shouting and knew if Mike was upset it was serious. He slid his chair back and hesitated to see if the shouting continued. Sometimes a good Captain had to let his crew work out their issues among themselves.
"What I do with my career is none of your business, Stoker. I have a stellar record with the department. That won't change, because I'm not a paramedic anymore." Roy's face was now red, and he took a few steps toward the engineer.
Mike stepped forward as well. "That's where you're wrong, Roy. It is our business. We've been friends for too long to watch you self destruct and take Johnny down with you."
"Johnny? Why is it always about him? This is my promotion. If he doesn't want to work with another partner he can resign. I don't care. This promotion is for me…for my family!" Roy got right in Mike's face. "And I don't need some hot shot engineer trying to psychoanalyze me. Back off!"
"Desoto! My office…Now!" Captain Stanley said as he stepped through the doorway. "Stoker…wait in the dorm."
Mike stepped back away from Roy at Captain Stanley's words. Roy remained standing rigid and staring at Mike.
"Desoto!" Cap called again.
Mike brushed past Roy and left the room. Roy took a shuddering breath and walked out of the room turning toward Captain Stanley's office.
Cap blew out a breath and met the shocked expressions of the two other men in the room. "Do either of you care to enlighten me as to what just happened?"
"We were watching the news and all of a sudden they were yelling at each other." Chet was quick to explain. "I don't know what's going on Cap, but it's got me worried." Marco nodded his agreement.
Roy walked into Captain Stanley's office and sunk into the chair. He knew his behavior was wrong. He was letting everyone down. He just didn't know how to stop himself.
'I performed the first act in the field as a paramedic.'He balled up his fist and hit it against the tiled wall.
'I graduated at the top of the class with Brackett as the lead instructor, and he's a hard ass.'He slammed his fist against the wall again feeling the sting.
'I've trained as many boots as he has and done it successfully. He's only the senior man, because he's been a firefighter longer.'He opened his fist and shook off the pain that radiated up his arm realizing he didn't need to do anything stupid that would get him in trouble. Breaking his hand or the tiles wouldn't be a good idea.
'We became paramedics at the same time.'He ran his hand through his wet hair and scrubbed his palms on his face; then he sucked in a deep breath and blew it out again.
'What makes him think he's better than me? Let him go. I'm over it.' He reached for the shower door, threw it open and grabbed his towel.
Meanwhile out in the bay Roy had returned to his task of polishing the already shining Squad.
Captain Stanley looked up from the folder on his desk and saw Roy just outside the door. "Roy, see you in my office," He called to the paramedic.
Roy stopped polishing and tucked the cloth into one of the compartments before moving to join his captain in the office. "Yes sir."
"Have a seat."
Roy sat on the edge of the chair. He had no idea why he was called into the office unless Cap had heard Johnny's and his exchange of words the day before. He felt like a kid called to the principal's office. It never occurred to him that if he were in serious trouble Cap would have told him to close the door. He was too wrapped up in his own troubled thoughts to notice. He sat completely still waiting for the tongue lashing he knew he deserved.
Cap turned from the desk and looked at him. "Relax pal. I just have some forms for you to fill out in preparation for your promotion to engineer. It looks like that may be in the next few shifts…a month tops." He held out a folder of papers.
Roy reached for the folder with a shaky hand. "Next few shifts?" He said without thinking.
"That's right, you'll have you own rig in no time." Cap smiled.
"Thanks Cap, I'll get these filled out and back to you." Roy moved to stand.
"Listen Roy, I wanted to let you know how much we're all going to miss you around here. It's been a pleasure." Cap stood and extended his hand. "I know that Johnny will work well with whoever they send to replace you, but it goes without saying that the way the two of you work together has been an inspiration to the other teams in the department."
Roy took the offered hand and shook it. "Thanks. I…" He looked down at the floor. "I'm gonna miss it here. I…um I'll just go fill these out."
"Shift is almost over. Why don't you just take them home and bring them back next shift. They're really a formality anyway. The department has your information on file." Captain Stanley patted the paramedic on the back."Let's get some more coffee. I'm sure Johnny is wondering where his partner is."
Cap didn't see the frown that crossed Roy's face.
As Roy and Cap stepped into the bay Johnny came around the back of the engine. He hesitated for a second before proceeding across the bay whistling a happy tune. 'I'll be damned if I let him ruin a perfectly good day.' All three men reached the kitchen door at the same time. "Age before beauty." He teased as he waved the two others ahead.
"Watch it Gage." Captain Stanley smiled. "Roy may be leaving, but you're still stuck on my shift." He chuckled.
Roy and Johnny's eyes met for a split second before both averted them.
"That's alright Cap. Maybe I won't be the youngest guy on this shift anymore. It might be nice to be Senior Paramedic for a change."
Roy put the folder down on the table with a little more force than he meant to use. "Well John you never know. Your new partner may be a more mature man like your former partner."
The other three crew members seated at the table reading the paper looked up at the exchange of words and use of Johnny's given name. Roy called him Johnny or Junior, but rarely John unless Johnny was injured or Roy was angry.
"More mature huh?" Johnny stopped in mid pour. "That wouldn't be so bad. Hopefully he'll be single so we'll have something to talk about." He finished filling his cup and out of habit grabbed for another before stopping himself and putting the pot back on the burner. "We could even double date from time to time."
Chet elbowed Marco. "See what I mean." He whispered. Marco nodded.
Mike raised the paper back up and pretended to read while looking over the top at the two best friends. Something was terribly wrong and he figured it had to do with Roy's recent behavior. The thing that had the engineer worried was how it would affect their next few shifts until Roy moved to another station. The last thing they needed was for some of their crew to not have their head in the game. That could prove dangerous to them all.
"Or you could end up with Brice." Roy teased.
"Nah….Bob and him are made for each other." Johnny smiled and then sipped his coffee. "But I hope whoever it is likes to bowl. We could use another decent bowler on our team." With that last jab he turned and walked toward the door.
"Where are you going, Gage?" Chet asked.
Johnny stopped and looked over at the lineman. "What's it to ya?"
Chet shrugged. "Just wonderin'. I mean we're all here. I thought maybe Cap might want to talk to us or somethin'."
Johnny looked at Cap. "You need me?"
"No." Cap looked at Chet with a raised eyebrow.
Chet shrugged again. "Well I just thought…"
"Kelly if you get any weirder…." Johnny laughed as he disappeared into the bay.
Roy slid into a chair and pulled the folder closer. Sparring with Johnny was the last thing he wanted to do, but he knew he had brought this all on himself. He just didn't know how to fix it. He had to take the promotion…didn't he? He'd passed the test. He'd even done well on it. He flipped open the folder and looked at the papers inside. His career as a paramedic was fast nearing an end, and he felt like he was gonna be sick.
Captain Stanley took his coffee back to his office. Chet and Marco had moved to the dayroom to watch the morning news leaving only Mike and Roy at the table. Mike continued watching Roy over the top of the strategically placed newspaper.
"It's a lot to take in." Mike said as he lowered the paper to the table.
Roy didn't respond at first. It was as if his hearing was delayed. When it registered that Mike was talking to him he looked up. "Huh?"
Mike smiled and pointed at the folder. "A lot to take in."
Roy's eyes returned to the paper he held in his hand. "Yeah."
"Did Cap tell you when it might happen?"
"Few weeks or a month." Roy said with little enthusiasm.
"Wow...that soon?"
"That soon." Roy returned the papers to the folder and closed it.
"Listen Roy, I know you will make a wonderful Engineer. You don't do anything half way, but do you mind if I ask you a question?" Mike leaned forward and crossed his arms on the table.
Roy turned in his chair to face Mike. "Sure go ahead."
Always very direct, Mike simply asked what was on everyone's mind. "Is there a problem between you and Johnny?"
"No...no problem." Roy didn't usually lie, but he was hesitant to admit that he thought he had hurt Johnny's feelings. It wasn't very manly to discuss emotions. "Why do you ask?"
Mike chuckled. "Why do I ask?" He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms across his chest. Over in the dayroom Chet and Marco turned to listen to the exchange. "Maybe because you were in his face yesterday and this morning the two of you bickered like a married couple."
"Humph." Roy huffed. "Funny Stoker."
"No Roy, it's not funny. It's disturbing to the rest of us." Mike's voice rose. "You guys need to work out whatever it is that's going on. Your crew has to depend on the two of you to have our backs and each others. When you take over an engine you can't be distracted. The entire scene depends on the skills of the engineer and the Captain. If your head isn't in the game then we all lose."
Roy's anger began to resurface. He knew Mike was right, but he was too strung out on emotion to realize or admit it. "What the hell are you trying to say Stoker?" He rose from the chair.
Mike rose as well. "What I'm saying Desoto is that if you are not completely sure that this promotion is what you want then you need to give us all a break and turn it down."
Captain Stanley heard the commotion. He was surprised to hear Mike's voice as a part of the near shouting and knew if Mike was upset it was serious. He slid his chair back and hesitated to see if the shouting continued. Sometimes a good Captain had to let his crew work out their issues among themselves.
"What I do with my career is none of your business, Stoker. I have a stellar record with the department. That won't change, because I'm not a paramedic anymore." Roy's face was now red, and he took a few steps toward the engineer.
Mike stepped forward as well. "That's where you're wrong, Roy. It is our business. We've been friends for too long to watch you self destruct and take Johnny down with you."
"Johnny? Why is it always about him? This is my promotion. If he doesn't want to work with another partner he can resign. I don't care. This promotion is for me…for my family!" Roy got right in Mike's face. "And I don't need some hot shot engineer trying to psychoanalyze me. Back off!"
"Desoto! My office…Now!" Captain Stanley said as he stepped through the doorway. "Stoker…wait in the dorm."
Mike stepped back away from Roy at Captain Stanley's words. Roy remained standing rigid and staring at Mike.
"Desoto!" Cap called again.
Mike brushed past Roy and left the room. Roy took a shuddering breath and walked out of the room turning toward Captain Stanley's office.
Cap blew out a breath and met the shocked expressions of the two other men in the room. "Do either of you care to enlighten me as to what just happened?"
"We were watching the news and all of a sudden they were yelling at each other." Chet was quick to explain. "I don't know what's going on Cap, but it's got me worried." Marco nodded his agreement.
Roy walked into Captain Stanley's office and sunk into the chair. He knew his behavior was wrong. He was letting everyone down. He just didn't know how to stop himself.
