Out Here on My Own
By GCS
Here…
In the dark…
Out in the open…
Alone…
I cry.
The cruel world has done it again…; my heart is broken.
The park behind me bustles with life… the crack of a baseball bat in a home run swing… the cheers from the crowd; the small band playing in the gazebo to family and friends, and the pounding of running feet as joggers circle the walking trail that brings them close… but they all fade… hidden behind my sobs,
sobs that no one hears.
I come here, because I don’t want anyone to know the deep sadness I feel. I don’t want anyone to know the things I live with, the hurts, the loveless life I lead.
Deep in my heart I wish you would come for me… rescue me from this sorrow. But you don’t even know I love you.
You came into my life, but if you find out what lies behind the persona I have created then you will probably leave me, and that would be the last straw… that would be the end.
I hear the train coming, rumbling down the tracks. Sometimes I wonder if I should wait for it on the track. Sometimes I wonder if anyone would care. I’ve even walked over…
closer,
but not too close.
It’s not really what I want, but I don’t want this either.
I don’t want to be me. I don’t want this life.
Out here in the field behind the park where I can see the stars, I cry…
my tears subside and then I sing…
I sing to the stars and they listen. I sing of hope… and love… and you.
Music warms my heart and heals my soul.
The park clears and the lights go out.
I’m still here, lying in the grass, looking at the stars.
No one knows… or maybe they do and they just don’t care. Maybe they looked over their shoulder just before ducking into their mini vans… maybe…
But I’m still here… alone with my feelings.
It is here I decide to be different.
It is here I realize the path I choose is up to me. My future is in my hands.
It is here I declare to the stars that I will make things better.
It is here I walk away from the tracks… It is here that joy returns.
Out here in the dark.
Alone.
01/21/13
In the dark…
Out in the open…
Alone…
I cry.
The cruel world has done it again…; my heart is broken.
The park behind me bustles with life… the crack of a baseball bat in a home run swing… the cheers from the crowd; the small band playing in the gazebo to family and friends, and the pounding of running feet as joggers circle the walking trail that brings them close… but they all fade… hidden behind my sobs,
sobs that no one hears.
I come here, because I don’t want anyone to know the deep sadness I feel. I don’t want anyone to know the things I live with, the hurts, the loveless life I lead.
Deep in my heart I wish you would come for me… rescue me from this sorrow. But you don’t even know I love you.
You came into my life, but if you find out what lies behind the persona I have created then you will probably leave me, and that would be the last straw… that would be the end.
I hear the train coming, rumbling down the tracks. Sometimes I wonder if I should wait for it on the track. Sometimes I wonder if anyone would care. I’ve even walked over…
closer,
but not too close.
It’s not really what I want, but I don’t want this either.
I don’t want to be me. I don’t want this life.
Out here in the field behind the park where I can see the stars, I cry…
my tears subside and then I sing…
I sing to the stars and they listen. I sing of hope… and love… and you.
Music warms my heart and heals my soul.
The park clears and the lights go out.
I’m still here, lying in the grass, looking at the stars.
No one knows… or maybe they do and they just don’t care. Maybe they looked over their shoulder just before ducking into their mini vans… maybe…
But I’m still here… alone with my feelings.
It is here I decide to be different.
It is here I realize the path I choose is up to me. My future is in my hands.
It is here I declare to the stars that I will make things better.
It is here I walk away from the tracks… It is here that joy returns.
Out here in the dark.
Alone.
01/21/13
